A Gentle Word | Liz Tolsma

Have you ever heard kids fight? They can be nasty to each other. The call each other names and taunt and tease. They are merciless.

I remember my mother telling me, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” I never bought into that. I was the nerdy kid that was picked on all the time, and the scars run deep. Each time I hear name calling, I cringe.

The Bible agrees with me. (Or better yet, I agree with the Bible.) “A gentle word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1. It can be so difficult to do. In the heat of the moment, the climax of the battle, it’s important to win. You pull out your ace in the hole and hit your sparring partner with your best shot.

That doesn’t solve the problem. Often, it makes it worse. The injured party will fight back and so it goes, on and on.

Have you ever stopped in that moment and thought about the words that were set to explode from your mouth? Have you ever thought about changing them? Instead of slashing with the sword of your tongue, try a gentle word. It may require an apology or an admission of wrong on your part. Oh, that is so difficult to do. We want to win the fight. At all costs.

The NIV translates Philippians 4:5 as, “Let your gentleness be evident to all.” The ESV says, “Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.” Gentleness and reasonableness go hand in hand. And they are to be displayed in our lives.

Speaking a gentle word in a hot situation shows our love for God and our love for our fellow man. Whether we are dealing with our spouse, our children, or a cranky boss or coworker, we must remember that our Christian life is always on display.

What did Jesus do when he was confronted by an angry mob? The Bible records one instance where they were mad enough to stone him. Did he turn and slay them with his words? He could have. He would have been well within his rights. But we are told that he slipped away.

When the soldiers placed the crown of thorns on his head and mocked him, he could have called down fire and brimstone on them. But he didn’t. He stood silently and took the punishment for all of the rash words we have said.

Speaking a gentle word in a hot situation shows our love for God and our love for our fellow man.Next time you find yourself confronted with tense situation, take a deep breath, say a prayer for courage and wisdom, and speak a gentle word.

Show love for God and our fellow man, speak a gentle word. @MargaretMcSweeney @LizTolsma
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Liz Tolsma has lived in Wisconsin most of her life, and she now resides next to a farm field with her husband, their son, and their two daughters. Add a dog and a cat to that mix and there’s always something going on at their house. She’s spent time teaching second grade, writing advertising for a real estate company, and working as a church secretary, but she always dreamed of becoming an author. She’d love to have you visit her at www.liztolsma.com.

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