Editor's notes: Literally melting

It's your friendly neighbourhood independent editor here again, sharing some of the common issues I see in my work for authors. I don't mean the basics of grammar and characterisation and plot; advice on those is easy to find. I'm talking instead about some specific but subtle things affecting writers of erotica. And this time, it's metaphors that can be unintentionally hilarious. 

His whip had set my ass on fire and now he told me to bend over ready for him; his voice was gravel. I folde...