How To Respond When You Get in Trouble

After making two dreaded phone calls to parents about student behavior, my husband and I sat and talked about times we had gotten in trouble when we were in school.

His list was long, because he wasn’t exactly studious and self-controlled in high school. I said, Some students it doesn’t matter where you seat them, they’re going to reach out and affect the whole class with their behavior.

He confessed he had been one of those students.

I reminisced about my Mary Poppin years and how I was compliant in school and “practically perfect in every way”. Then I remembered that one time I got in trouble.

I was a freshman in college and foolishly registered for an 8:00 psychology class. My good friend and I sat right next to each other and made every effort to help keep each other awake, which is why we ended up playing a little slapping game one day.

The professor was lecturing, and right in the middle he said, Girls! and then kept right on lecturing.

I was mortified. I wasn’t the kind of girl who got in trouble in class.

I was telling my husband this story, and tears started rolling down my cheeks, as I remembered the humiliation of that moment.

I said, I still feel so bad that I caused trouble.

And there’s my husband on the end of the couch, listening to my story, with an incredulous look on his face that 26 years after the psychology class incident I’m still mourning getting in trouble.

As a teacher, here’s what I see. Most everybody gets in a bit of trouble now and then. Some students are disappointed in themselves when they’re called on something, and they give a sincere and immediate apology.

Then there are those students who look you in the face and feign innocence. If the innocence act doesn’t work, they start hurling out blame to other people as fast as they possibly can.

I’ve been guilty myself of both of those reactions before –sometimes deep regret and willingness to come right out and admit my fault. Sometimes stubborn back peddling and trying to force the guilt onto anyone but me.

Here’s an amusing irony. This blog post was due yesterday, and I got an email that it was late, asking was I going to post or did they need to find someone for that day?

I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard getting ready to rattle off as many really great excuses as I could think of for why I couldn’t do this post on time. But instead I just said, I’m so sorry.

Yuck. It feels bad to mess up.

But we all do. At least we can handle our mistakes with truth, regret, and sincere apology –followed by a determined effort to do the right thing in the future.

Is there any mistake you’ve made where you’ve been trying to defend yourself instead of taking responsibility?

Do you take responsiblilites for your mistakes? @MargaretMcSweeney @Christy_Fitz
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