I’ll Tell You A Tale of a Burglar Bold
I found this audio gem on an old reel to reel tape at my grandmother’s house this weekend. I found an MP3 version on Amazon for anyone who wants a different version.
Here’s the lyrics I pulled online:
I’ll sing you a song of a burglar bold
Who went to rob a house.
He opened the window and went right in, as quiet as a mouse
Then under the bed the burglar crept
And lay there close to the wall.
He didn’t know it was an old maid’s room
Or he wouldn’t have had the gall.
At nine o’clock the old maid came in
“I am so tired” said she.
She took out her teeth and big glass eye
And the hair from the top of her head.
While the burglar had seventeen kinds of fits
As he peered from under the bed.
From under the bed the burglar crept
And looked a total wreck.
The old maid was onto him and
Grabbed him by the neck.
She didn’t scream or holler at all
But stood there meek as a lamb and said,
“My prayers have been answered now
And at last I’ve found a man”.
Then the old maid a revolver took
And unto the burglar said,
“Young man it you don’t marry me
I’ll blow off the top of your head”.
The burglar looked for a place to run
But found not where to scoot.
He looked at her teeth and big glass eye
And said, “For God’s sake shoot”.
