Grammar Saves Lives, Part Two: Wanton Cruelty to the Comma (1/2)
As promised, today I’ve got a continuation of Nina’s grammar blogs. Today is the horrible, terrifying comma. Take it away, Nina!
Commas save lives.
A magazine once held the headline “Rachel Ray finds solace in cooking her family and her dog.” I don’t know about you, but I’d steer pretty far from this lady.
The common comma is one of the most uncommonly daunting pieces of punctuation out there, and competes with the apostrophe for the punctuation mark most abused and omitted. I will admit, I was so scared that I declared from the outset that I’d do this in two parts.
But have no fear!
Through all of the sources I’ve looked at, there seem to come up only five themes of usage for commas: series, clause separation, parentheticals, modification, and a couple of miscellaneous usages I’m going to stick in a grab bag. See? That’s not so bad. Today we’ll just start out with the first (and longest) two.
Let’s begin with something on the simpler side: the serial comma.
- Use commas to separate three or more words, phrases, or clauses. This is pretty simple. You see it in the sentence I just said: words, phrases, or clauses. Unless you’re being majorly stylistic, make sure to stick a conjunction at the end (and, or, &c).
Ladies, gentlemen, and variations thereupon, we will begin our presentation now.
In my term I will lower taxes, reduce unemployment, and protect the environment.
The defendant, who was at the scene of the crime, who had strong motive, and who had access to the murder weapon, is guilty of homicide.
Ever heard of the Oxford comma? Also known as the Harvard comma, it is one of the most hotly debated issues in punctuation. Yes, there are hot debates about punctuation. The Oxford comma is the last comma in a series, right before the conjunction. Consider this sentence:
We invited the ladies, FDR and Stalin.
Now, technically this is not only a grammatical sentence, but a correct sentence. (If you were holding a rather interesting soiree.) But unless they take a good second look, I get the feeling that Mr. Roosevelt and Mr. Stalin would be a little bit offended. Am I talking about the ladies who are FDR and Stalin? Or did I invite to the ladies and FDR and Stalin? It’s kind of hard to tell – because we’re missing an Oxford comma. Let’s see what happens when we stick it in:
I invited the ladies, FDR, and Stalin.
Now it’s clear who we’re talking about, and nobody is getting killed for impertinence. As a rule of thumb, you don’t really have to have it in a simple list (ham, eggs and cheese), but the Oxford comma can be pretty useful in disambiguating things.
One other thing to note about listing phrases and clauses. If you have a comma within the phrase you’re listing, it’s always going to be clearer if you replace the serial comma with a serial semicolon.
The participants of the meeting were Robert, the manager; Sydney, the senior manager; and Chandilyan, the chairman.
- Similar to the above but not quite the same, use serial commas when you’re listing adjectives to describe a noun.
He was a difficult, recalcitrant child.
Make sure when you use these to differentiate between coordinate and non-coordinate adjectives: coordinate ones can be used in no particular order, and need commas, while non-coordinate ones have to be in a particular order without commas.
He lived in a bright, large house. (coordinate)
She wore a grey wool shawl. (non-coordinate)
Now, the harder-to-figure-out comma use is with clauses. You can use commas to separate independent clauses, dependent clauses, and introductory clauses. Oh, my.
Let’s straighten this out a bit.
- Use commas when a sentence begins with an independent clause, has a conjunction, and then ends in an independent clause.
Don’t push that button, or we’ll all blow up!
A useful note: An independent clause is one that would stand on its own as a simple sentence. “Don’t push that button.” “We’ll all blow up.” A dependent clause doesn’t stand on its own; we’ll see a couple of those in the next use.
- Use commas when the sentence begins in a dependent clause and ends in an independent clause.
If you push that button, we’ll all blow up!
See? “If you push that button” doesn’t stand on its own – it’s a dependent clause.
- DO NOT use a comma when the sentence begins in an independent clause and ends in a dependent clause.
We’ll all blow up if you push that button!
Don’t have sentences that are made of two dependent clauses. That just doesn’t make sense.
- When the dependent clause at the beginning is just a word, make sure you use a comma – like with an introductory adverb:
Meanwhile, she pushed the button.
That wasn’t so painful, was it? Join me in a couple weeks for the compelling comma conclusion!
