The Columbus Epiphany
Wanted for Douche-baggery
I want to talk about my Facebook newsfeed. Every single holiday it’s the same thing…it’s like my newsfeed goes on a bender. It’s a reoccurring phenomenon, and I’ve noticed it absolutely doesn’t matter if the holiday is religious, political or benign in origin. My newsfeed transcends all known boundaries of race, politics and religion.
This weekend it was all about Columbus. Now Columbus was a s#%. Seriously, I don’t think anyone but his mom ever disputed this. But weirdly, he’s a s#% with a holiday. And I agree that doesn’t make sense any more than teaching kids he discovered America. But that’s not my point.
All weekend hundreds of friends and strangers were burning down my wall with vitriolic posts, memes and status updates, as I dutifully shared, liked and commented along. (Unfortunately it’s what socializing with friends has come down to for me) But sitting there in the warm glow of my flaming newsfeed I had an epiphany. I realized that what people really, truly, deeply care about…is turkey. And gravy.
Seriously, if you throw in some beer and a day off work, people will prance around in any psychopath’s name. It’s not just Columbus. Christmas is the same thing. People don’t care if the holiday is Jesus birthday or a pagan fertility feast a bunch of Christians hijacked. Make sure there’s some turkey and gravy involved, and seriously you can even throw in a bunch of random crap about a bearded fat guy in a onesie and a herd of mangy arctic deer and people won’t bat an eye. Cause it’s all about the gravy.
Walk up to absolutely anyone anywhere at Easter and ask, “Hey man, do you know what this holiday is about?” And you’ll get, “Yeah, I don’t really know…it might be the resurrection of Almighty God coming back from the dead…it maybe a bunny pooping coloured eggs under shrubs in the backyard?” Everyone will chuckle good-naturedly and then someone will pipe up, “as long as there is turkey! Am I right!” as a mighty cheer and back slapping erupt.
People don’t care about Columbus. They don’t care about Jesus. Or banks, queens or national pride…they care about turkey. They care about gravy. And they care a lot.
It’s a rookie mistake thinking that because the truth means a lot to you, it means a lot to everyone else. That couldn’t be further from the truth. We are the only ones who care about what we care about.
If you’re seriously trying to build a populous movement or want to enact some lasting, qualitative change that will improve lives, combat colonization, racism and bigotry…just remember, people seriously get behind turkey.
Rik Leaf is a professional Producer/Presenter, recording artist, slam poet & published author who spends the majority of his creative time & energy dreaming up ways to inspire people to live awesome lives.
Interested in booking Rik for your Conference/Festival/Event contact,
Ronnie James, Artist Agent
info@justartists.org
