Bermudababble Week Twenty One
Ok girls – so if you are anything like me, you have one nice set of underwear, for special occasions, one that you wouldn’t mind being seen in A&E and a whole lot of others that really should be binned, greying, holey and mismatched! …and if you are not like me then – Ooooh get you Mrs Fancy Pants!
Well, last Sunday night after a perfect weekend of mooching, beaching and chatting to the man I love, we trotted down to the little deserted Jobsons Cove, which is a mere two minutes from our front door, to have a little stroll. Call it the warm air, pink sky or Bermuda madness, but I turned to the Major and said, ‘Let’s swim!’ 
Nighttime was nipping at the heels of day and I felt more confident in this half light than I usually do. I shoved my trousers and shirt on the sand and waded in to the sea, wearing my Fred&Florence pants that are WELL past their sell by date and a saggy old bra that barely covers my modesty! The Major followed suit, although clever clogs had his trunks on!
I swear to God, my shoulders had barely gone under the water, when I heard a chattering from the winding path that leads down to the cove. I looked at Mr Clever Clogs, aghast,
‘There’s someone coming! And I’ve got my grotty pants on with a big hole in the back!’
He tutted, ‘It’ll be fine, they can’t see anything and they won’t be stopping.’
How wrong he was.
Within seconds, a very large family had set up chairs, flaming torches, a picnic… you get the idea and with granny sat in a chair in the middle of proceedings, they all stood, staring at me in the water.
‘We’re having a picnic!’ They waved.
‘I’m having a nervous breakdown!’ I whispered back.
I hissed at The Major to go and grab my shirt, which he did and then stood on the shore line, chatting to the family, holding my shirt at least five metres out of reach. I had no choice. I took a deep breath, sucked in my tummy and strode out of the water. You know that scene in James Bond when Ursula Andress comes up the beach in her bikini? Well this was just like that; if the part had been played by Bella Emberg and she had been wearing her Tesco knickers.
I then tried to roll my shirt down my wet torso and it got stuck in a lump under my armpit, so I had one arm sticking up in the air, the other trapped and my huge, grey pants on display… I shan’t be suggesting any late night dips again. I’m cringing at the memory!
I had the best day on Thursday – I spent the day with the inspirational Mrs Joan Blades, who is now retired, but has spent a large part of her life working in education and education policy – she is a very clever lady and I found her ideas on how education should be shaped to make children feel ‘valued’ and to give them the idea that they can effect change with a little bit of a guidance, good role models and a whole heap of self worth was so refreshing, for her, it isn’t only about grades. It was the nicest day I’ve spent in a very long time.
Bermuda is busy! We’ve got the Bermuda Gold Cup in Hamilton, lots of big boats and crews wondering around in matching little jerseys and tan gaps where their special sunglasses have been and the PGA golf tour coming in – for a sporty girl like me its been great! (?) Me; ‘I saw a man today on a moped with his golf sticks!’ my friend; ‘They are called clubs, Mandy!’ – whatever.
We have the St. Anne’s Church bazaar today – one lady asked me if I thought I might be able to sell books – I considered it and said, ‘I could give it a try…’
I’m flying back to the UK this week for a few meetings and to annoy my boys by giving them unwanted attention and demanding they talk to me – can’t wait!
I shall of course also be speaking at http://bit.ly/17yeg3o click on October 24th for more details and I would love to see you if you are in the area – pop in and hear me Babble in real life! xxx
The Major came home yesterday with the news that the Governor Mr George Fergusson and his wife for drinks have invited us on Monday – I’m bricking it. What do I wear? I only bought beach tat and a couple of slinky tops! Oh well, they shall just have to take me as they find me and thinking about it, as long as I keep my Tesco pants under wraps, nothing could be as bad as my impromptu swimming experience – jheesh!
©Amanda Prowse – all enquiries PFD ajhughes@pfd.co.uk. +44 (0)20 7344 1084
