Hometown readings mean actually dropping sanctioned f-bombs in...

Hometown readings mean actually dropping sanctioned f-bombs in front of former professors, bosses, and your parents (see Mom, above right).

When they’re held the same weekend as your high school reunion, people with whom you ditched class are actually in attendance.

When they’re preceded by a write-up in the local paper, it means teachers who legit couldn’t stand you 20 years ago make a cheerful appearance.

So you seize the opportunity to apologize for being an grateful brat…but they commend you for bestowing the yearbook with its existing name.

Which kinda makes you wanna do hometown readings in every city you’ve lived in.

Because, selective memory.