It Had to Happen

It was bound to happen. I thought maybe I would avoid it, but the situation became dire. In spite of my best efforts to prevent it…I have joined Twitter! It finally reached the point where I had to do it. Now I just need to learn more about it. At my joining the screen said it was simple. Just pick five people to follow. After that it said to pick five more people. Well why didn’t it just say to pick ten in the first place? I felt weird. “I don’t know these people”, I thought. “Will they mind me following them?” “I feel like I’m invading their privacy.” Then my blunt wife explained to me that anything someone writes on Twitter is meant to be seen by everyone. So…as I understand it…Twitter is like a diary everyone reads. Ok. I think I understand now. Then I thought, “What do you say to one of your heroes or idols?” These aren’t people you just ask, “How’s the weather there?” Or maybe, “What do you like to do in your spare time?” I don’t want to sound like a stalker. Then again, maybe I’m supposed to ask those things. Comment on this blog and let me know. Then the strangest thing happened. I received notifications of people following ME! Whoa! What do I say to them? Least of my problems are I tend to be wordy and you only have so much room in a tweet. Then I look at the Tweets on TV that people post. It seems there’s some sort of Tweet language that I do not speak. Some of the Tweets I see are ones I just stare at in confusion. What is the Tweet language? Is there someplace to learn it? I feel arthritis creeping up my spine as I start to age by the minute. I have no choice in the matter. I will have to consult…my children! Yes those same wonderful kids who take my smartphone and change all the settings until I can’t find anything must come to my aid. I don’t know if they teach this in school or people born after 1990 just ’know’ these things somehow. One thing about me is that I do not quit easily. I will figure this out…in time. Some of you reading this must think I’m an albatross. My only consolation is that I know people far less tech-savvy than me. With proper training, however, I feel this old dog CAN learn some new tricks. I just have to have my puppies teach me.