Book rec: OLD MAN’S WAR by John Scalzi

 

 

There was no way I was going to like this book.  It might be excellent of its kind—everyone says it is excellent of its kind—but it’s not my kind.  I knew a version of Scalzi’s rep—that he writes Guy Science Fiction.  Fine, excellent, great, get away from me with that thing.  And I’m allergic to Robert Heinlein and all his spiritual offspring—in fact don’t get me started on Robert Heinlein—and the big plug, from Publishers Weekly, on my paperback cover of OLD MAN’S WAR reads ‘Though a lot of SF writers are more or less efficiently continuing the tradition of Robert A. Heinlein, Scalzi’s astonishingly proficient first novel reads like an original work by the late grand master.’  Well that kills it dead.  Get away from me with that thing with tongs.

So when a friend, applied to for book recs, suggested OLD MAN’S WAR, I thought she’d lost her mind or forgotten who she was speaking to or something.  Ah er um, I said.  I don’t even know why I picked up a copy;  maybe amazon or Book Depository or something sent me a come-on when my friend’s recommendation was still fresh in my mind.*

And then it arrived, with the plug about Heinlein splashed over a jacket illustration of a planet that looks like a mouldy orange with a lot of implausible drone ships racketing off in all directions.  But hey.  It was also a (relatively) cheap mass-market paperback so I could read it in the bath.  Also I think I was looking forward to telling my friend she had lost her mind. . . .

I loved it.  Except for the part about how I don’t think I can tell you any of what I loved about it, on spoiler grounds.  I know, it’s eight years old, there are any number of spoilers out there if you want to click around for them.  I’ve just been having a few rather tetchy conversations about spoilers in the wake of SHADOWS’ publication;  is it so much to ask that spoilery discussions happen in areas clearly marked HERE BE SPOILERS?  A lot of us readers want to know as little as possible about a book beyond what made them decide to give it a try, like a recommendation from a friend despite its genre and reputation.**  Even an old book.  It’s a new book to someone who hasn’t read it before.

Okay.  This isn’t very spoilery.  The point about the ‘old man’s [and woman’s] war’ is that the CDF—Colonial Defense Forces—sign up old people.  They want age and experience.  But they also want high-class cannon fodder.  You can assume there’s going to some heavy rejuvenation involved.  There is.  Two things:  the, er, instructions for living in your new, rejuvenated state, are hilarious.  They’re a rip off of every piece of stupid advertising hype you’ve ever been blistered by in the real world—including the stuff that is telling you about something worth having.  And the second thing:  if you’re a bunch of old people who are suddenly effectively young again, what is the first thing you’re going to want to do?  HAVE SEX.  HAVE LOTS OF SEX.  This kind of thing is such a SF cliché.  Booooooooring.***  It’s done well here.  It’s funny and charming and human.

The bit that I REALLY want to tell you about there’s no way into.  I’ll just say it’s a scene near the end between the hero and a woman he meets quite a way into the book.  And that when I said . . . really no more than that to my friend, about a scene between the hero and the woman he meets pretty late in the book and it was so fabulous . . . she immediately knew which scene I was talking about.  It’s that kind of scene.

One warning:  there is a very high body count.  Given the set up there has to be.  It’s not gratuitous—in fact it’s poignant.  You know all these people;  some of them you’ve known from the beginning, members of the new wrinkly intake with Perry, wondering what the CDF wants with them, and what shape the rejuvenating so they can do it will consist of.

Here’s a bit of relatively harmless chat which may give you some sense of the style:

“So what the hell† is wrong with him?” Lieutenant Keyes asked Alan, about me, at the end of our post-battle briefing with the other squad leaders.

“He thinks we’re all inhuman monsters,” Alan said.

“Oh, that,” Lieutenant Keyes said, and turned to me.  “How long have you been in, Perry?”

“Almost a year,” I said.

Lieutenant Keyes nodded.  “You’re right on schedule, then, Perry.  It takes about a year for most people to figure out they’ve turned into some soulless killing machine with no conscience or morals.  Some sooner, some later.  Jensen here”—he indicated one of the other squadron leaders—“got to about the fifteen-month point before he cracked.  Tell him what you did, Jensen.”

“I took a shot at Keyes,” Ron Jensen said.  “Seeing as he was the personification of the evil system that turned me into a killing machine.”

“Nearly took off my head, too,” Keyes said.

“It was a lucky shot,” Jensen allowed.

There are some great aliens.  And the psychology of the Ghost Brigades is brilliant.  OLD MAN’S WAR is way better than Heinlein.††

* * *

* One of the rather good things about the alarming efficiency with which sites that you have bought stuff at figure out how to ply you with more stuff you might buy is that book and music sellers may actually send you come ons for old stuff.  As someone with a vested interest^ in older books remaining in print this is a very pleasing development.

^ Heavily vested.  There may be both chainmail and Kevlar involved.

** In my case I also want to know it’s not gruesome.  I don’t do horror at all, barring MR James, the original DRACULA, and a few odds and ends, and I pretty much gave up murder mysteries as the serial torturer-killer subgenre seemed to be taking over.

*** Heinlein, for example.  Spare me Heinlein’s ideas of free sex.

† Oh, bad language warning:  there’s a lot of it.  I think it works fine in this context, but it’s there, if anyone has tender eyes/sensibilities.  Personally I thought the scene when they’re all talking about naming their BrainPals was a hoot.

†† And I read a lot of Heinlein in my youth, when there was a lot less choice of F&SF.  I know whereof I speak.