Grieving the Loss of a Pet

**Let me start by saying this is a hard blog to write. I promised my readers laughs and fun topics but today’s is neither. It is however, something every pet owner must endure. If you are dealing with grief right now, my hope is this will help.

There are few things more precious than a cuddly new puppy or kitten. We bring them home and make them a part of our family. The last thing on our minds at this exciting time is the fact that someday, we will have to say good-bye to them. Unfortunately, it is just a painful realization we all eventually have to face. The truth is that next to the loss of a human family member, the death of our beloved four-legged friend is one of the saddest times many of us experience. From the day they come into our lives, we love them, feed them, train them, cuddle, and kiss them. They know our deepest secrets and give us unconditional love. We carry their pictures, post them Facebook, and talk about them like any proud parent. Our pets are happier than anyone else is when we come home every day. Dogs and cats don’t question us, never stay angry, and trust us 100%. Their only fault is a shorter lifespan than we are given. I have grieved the loss of many wonderful cats and dogs. It never gets easier and you can never prepare yourself for their death. We had to live through the heartbreak only a few months ago. The one advantage I have is that my books include all of my fabulous pets and they get to live again through my words. It was still several weeks before I could open my laptop back up and continue their story when death came to one of them.
The grief process after a pet dies is the same as with any family member. It can become overwhelming and is different for everyone. When the realization of an impending farewell comes, you probably tried bargaining with a higher power, your pet, and yourself to no avail. The normal grief process usually begins with anger. Those feelings may be directed at your veterinarian, other family members, yourself, or your lost pet. The other feeling you have to deal with is the guilt. Was there something you could have done to achieve a different outcome? Then you dwell on the times you may have lost patience with your pet. Once these initial feelings subside, the true feelings of sadness emerge. The important thing to remember is all of these feelings are normal to achieve your goal of acceptance.
It is also important to know that you don’t have to grieve alone. Share your feelings with the rest of your family. There are also pet bereavement counseling services, pet-loss support hotlines, local or online Internet groups, books, videos, and magazine articles. You may want to plan a memorial service for your pet. Writing about your feelings, memories, and the things you want to tell your dog or cat can be very therapeutic.
If there is a child in your family, it is extremely important to listen to their feelings. The loss of a pet is sometimes the first experience they have dealing with death. The way you handle it with them will affect how they handle such losses in the future. There are many wonderful books and videos available to help youngsters understand and accept the situation. You may find them becoming fearful of losing other loved ones in their lives. Give them the support and reassurance they need and don’t be afraid to let them know that you are also grieving.
There is another family member who must not be forgotten during this time. If you have more than one pet, they ones left behind will also experience grief. They may whimper, look for their friend, refuse to eat, and become lethargic. This is the way animals express their sadness at the loss of their companion. If they have been outside pets, bring them inside to be with you. This will be a positive thing for both of you. Remember, our pets pick up on our emotions so a little extra love and snuggling will go a long way towards healing both of your hearts.
A common sentiment after the death of your pet is “I will never get another dog/cat. It’s just too painful to lose them.” Going out to get a new pet is not advisable until you’ve come to terms with your recent loss. It may be as short as a month or it might be a year before you’re ready to welcome a new best friend into your life. Everyone has his or her own timeline for the grieving process. The question I always ask is this, “Would you give up the years of joy, happiness, and love you shared with your pet only to avoid the temporary pain?” The only way to get through life without the pain of a pet’s death is never to know the love of one in the first place. I think that would be a sad and lonely way to protect your heart. Remember, it really does get better.

**Recipes You’ll Wish You Didn’t Know**
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1 lb. Ground Beef
½ cup Chopped Onions
½ cup Chopped Green Pepper
1 cup Chopped Celery
1 5oz. pkg. Egg Noodles
1 8oz. can Tomato Sauce
1 12oz. Can Niblet Corn
2 tblsp. Chili Powder
Salt & Pepper to taste
1 cup Grated Sharp Cheese

Brown ground beef in small amount of oil. Drain then add onions, green pepper, and celery. Cook slowly for several minutes until celery is clear. Cook noodles in salted water until tender. Drain and add noodles, tomato sauce, corn, chili powder, salt, and pepper to ground beef. Pour into baking dish. Cover with grated cheese. Bake in 350˚ oven for 20 minutes. Serves 6 ~ 8