Why I Don't Go to Bookstores Anymore

So my sister, Melissa, and my niece, Mallory, were in Seattle, visiting for me for a few days and my niece asked if we could go to a bookstore so she could pick up a new book, since she had finished rereading one of those Twilight sagas for the umpteenth time. She didn't want any of the gay-themed books I tried to press upon her. What can I say? It breaks my heart...

Anyway...

Being the good host and uncle I am, we trekked out to University Village, where there's a huge Barnes and Noble store. ...