Everyone Wins

There are a lot of times when I feel like the West Coast of the USA is the best place on earth, and tonight is one of those nights. Why? Because tonight my younger daughter was scared of going to her track meet on Sunday and she asked if they were handing out ribbons. I could tell her, without hesitation, that yes—EVERYONE would get ribbons. Just for showing up.

See, we on the West Coast have learned a secret–one that most people seem to think is a communist plot made up by hippies who’ve smoked more than their daily allotment of Mary Jane. That secret is this: people are much more likely to show up and do their best when everyone wins.

Does it means that people on the left coast are less competitive? I’d think Bill Gates, Larry Ellison and Jess Bezos would argue not. We’ve just learned how to win without making the other guy lose. Well, okay, sometimes the other guy DOES lose, but we try to be nice about it.

The ideal, though, is that Everyone Wins. My daughter, who is undoubtedly one of the slowest runners, if not THE slowest, wins by showing up, doing her best, and finishing. Other kids win by keeping a jog the whole time, or running a good pace, by beating their friends, and yes, maybe by actually being the fastest. That way, the race is full of winners, not losers. Proud parents instead of brow-beating rage freaks. Success instead of dismay.

For a person like me, with a Polyanna-ish notion that people are inherently good, the win-win mentality works wonders. I don’t have to be a better writer than everyone else, I just have to be the best I can. In fact, I don’t WANT to crush other authors under the weight of my mighty talent, because then, what would all those ravenous romance readers have to read? I like living in a world full of winners, where everyone is the best they can be on their own terms. Why would I want to live anywhere else?

So I’m going to show up on Sunday and cheer on my kid—whether she’s the best runner or the worst, the fastest or the slowest. Because honestly, who the hell cares who wins a third grade track meet anyway?

The trick in life is showing up. Doing your best. And doing it again, even if you suck.

After all, if she runs that half mile every day from now until she’s forty, she’ll be the fastest mom in the pick-up lane at elementary school. She’ll live longer and be healthier and even happier. In the end, that’s what “winning” is all about.

 

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