Feedback Request

Below is a revision of Face-Lift 1143. Leave your comments here.


Dear Evil Editor,

In my dreams I see the faces of those I've killed: pale masks of horror, mouths gaping soundlessly as my power washes over them, dissolving everything in its path. Human, Faeron, Inori, Rahl--nearly all of the galaxy's races--in the nano before death they all look the same. It's not guilt, not misplaced morality that troubles my sleep. It's the lack of control over my power triggering these dreams.  When I call it, it takes over, leaving me a bystander, a puppet in my own skin.

The Watch, the Syndicate, the Faeron: they all want me, to bend me to their control, to use me as a weapon for their own ends. I like attention as much as the next girl, but this is ridiculous. Winning their war or making them a profit, it's all the same to me: I don't give a fuck. What I want is freedom. Freedom for myself, freedom for my sister Sil.

Freedom: a wild madness, a desperate dream, a ruined hope. They'll never let me live outside of their control. I'm too dangerous, my power too unknown to chance me falling into the wrong hands.    I'm not a kinetic like the Watchers, like Sil, not inert like the Inori. I'm something else entirely and they fear what they don't understand, destroy what they can't control. They'll die trying.

Unless they send Llyron Flynn.

There's something between us--a hopeless fascination, an undeniable tug. It's a tug I don't understand, can't control. Dangerous. Very dangerous. He's a Watcher, charged with hunting down illegal kinetics--like my sister--and the power to put them away for a long time. He won't hesitate to use her against me, to force me to fight for his side. It's a side I care nothing about, a trap. The cost of her safety is my freedom, my obedience and perhaps my life. Unless I can figure out the full extent of my powers--and how to control them--I could lose everything.

What choice do I have?  The Syndicate thinks I'm dead. Best stay that way.

Sci-fi romance for young adults, NUKED is complete at 85,000 words and available at your request. NUKED is the first in a planned series--I've just begun work on another book set in the same world. As detailed in your submission requirements, below are te first ten pages.

Thank you for your time.