Ending Well | Angie Webb

Life is tough. Do you agree?

Personally, I wish at times my life had been a little easier but then I remember all of the lessons I have learned through the fiery trials, tragedies, loss, fear and anxiety.

Where would I be if I had not walked the difficult roads?

Photo used with permission from: P. J. Di Benedetto
Text added by: Angie Kay Webb

Looking back from as early as two or three years old, I was filled with fear, anxiety and stress. I lived in a neglectful, abusive, damaged home that had most material items you could wish for, but was lacking unconditional love, acceptance and encouragement especially when I faced times of fear.

Fear can become such a stronghold in our lives and it definitely became that in my life.

I lived in fear of going to school because that required me to be away from home, yet I didn’t want to be at home either. I lived in fear of making a mistake because that meant harsh, harsh discipline as well as neglect because of the mistake done. I lived in fear of riding in the car, being alone . . . on and on.

By the age of 18 years old, I had left my childhood home as an unmarried, pregnant teenager. I then married my high school sweetheart. Life was not easy. Fear still controlled my life on almost every level. I had no self-esteem, no joy, no happiness, yet life continued on as best as it could. I wasn’t unhappy in my marriage or life with my children, but life was not what I had envisioned for myself.

By 1990, our family had lost a brother to suicide, then in 1991 an uncle to suicide, and then in 1996 my grandparents were involved in a murder/suicide.

All of these situations overwhelmed me, swallowed me up to the once again controlling fear and eventually led to a place of no happiness, depression, anxiety and agoraphobia. I had no idea how to change the situation I found myself in, yet I so desperately wanted some type of freedom, yet all I felt day in and day out was fear, anxiety and panic.

Freedom seemed elusive.

I believed in Jesus Christ at the age of 10 years old, so I definitely knew that God had a big plan for my life, yet achieving all I had dreamed of seemed out of my reach due to the anxiety and fears that controlled my every waking moment.

Let’s fast forward to 2012. By this point, I had lived with fear, anxiety and panic attacks for more than 30 years, yet I also suffered with agoraphobia as well.

My children and family had missed out on many memories throughout the years due to my struggle with traveling away from home. Vacations were not planned and memories were not made.

In 2012, my 95 year old grandmother had not seen me or my family in over ten years but it was something I so desperately wanted to accomplish but really saw no way due to my anxiety and agoraphobia.

Fear continued to control my life so I saw no way of having this dream become a reality.

I had many great strides of achieving employment, driving in town alone, and dealing with the pain of the past, but the reality of traveling seemed impossible. A friend invited me to attend a Women’s Bible Conference in our local town in July 2012, and this is when God did a huge transformation in my life.

The second day of the conference, the Lord began doing a work in my heart and soul concerning the hurtful past, fear and anxiety. Praise was a powerful tool that day, but also the many prayers that were being prayed on my behalf during the conference. My mind, soul and heart changed that day, but I could not understand to the extent or exactly how, but yet deep in my spirit, I knew life would never be the same.

From that day in July 2012 to present day, I have traveled twice to see my 95 year old grandmother who lives over 9 hours away, traveled to see my uncle and cousins who live 11 hours away, but I have also traveled just for “fun” with some great friend to Austin, San Antonio and San Marcos.

Memories were made, fun was had and freedom just gets sweeter and sweeter by the day.

Recently, I made a scrapbook of my “recent” travels so I can see the progress I have made but more importantly to remember where I have been and where I am going.

Photo Credit: P.J. Di Bendetto
Text added: Angie Kay Webb

FREEDOM is SWEET.

The path has not been easy, but even in the darkest moments God was walking along side me. If I had given up and quit praying, look what joy, peace, happiness and freedom I would have missed out on.

I want to offer you hope that no matter what you are facing; God is walking with you, listening to your prayers and has a great plan for you.

Don’t give up.

Isaiah 44:20 He feeds on ashes. His deceived mind has led him astray, and he cannot deliver himself, or say, “ Isn’t there a lie in my right hand?”

I had let my fear and anxiety become an idol in my life, yet it was a lie. It held nothing good for me; only more fear, loss of freedom and certainly a life that was less than God had planned for me.

God has a plan for you as well. Don’t lose heart. Don’t give up.

I am FREE at last.

God wants us to END WELL.

Have you let fear and anxiety become your idol? @MargaretMcSweeney @Angiewebb65
Click To Tweet

Angie Webb grew up in a very unhappy home, which later led to a life filled with fear, anxiety and eventually agoraphobia. Angie married at the age of 18 years old and has been married to her high school sweetheart for 30 years. They have two grown sons and three grandchildren. Angie is totally free from her anxiety and fear after many years which allows her to help others struggling as well. Angie writes for Heartbeat The Magazine and also has a FB group for those that would like to join called Joyful Journey: Out of Fear, Anxiety and Agoraphobia. Angie also has her own website at http://angiewebb.wordpress where she shares her journey. Many articles have been published by Angie at other sites such as Denise in Bloom, Exemplify Online and others. Contact Angie through her website or her Facebook page.

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates or follow me on Facebook.