Fast and Furious series

Fast and Furious: Car Porn

Fast and Furious: Car Porn


The other night I was watching the Fast and Furious 6, which is a great story about how The Rock is proving you don’t need CGI for the next Hulk movie. With the announcement and post-credits scene showing they are making Fast and Furious 7, I thought it was worth re-capping the series so far.


1) The Fast and The Furious

This first instalment is pretty much Point Break with cars.


2) 2 Fast, 2 Furious

Also known as The Curious Case of the Missing Vin Diesel.


3) The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift

Who are these people? Why are they driving sideways? Where are Paul and Vin?


4) Fast and Furious: Career Booster

After realising that people still like seeing cars at the movies but are only so-so about Vin Diesel and Paul Walker’s other films, it was time to film some car porn with the original cast.


5) Fast 5: Bicep Showdown

The Rock and Vin Diesel spend two hours showing off their gym time.


6) Fast and Furious 6: The Rock and some cars

The Rock dwarfs everyone on screen and no-one can see the cars clearly.


7) Fast and Furious 7: Back to Tokyo

We quickly forget that Paul Walker has been a main cast member of the series as Jason Statham, Tony Jaa, Rhonda Rousey, Vin Diesel and The Rock beat the crap out of each other near some cars.


8) Fast and Furious 8: Reasonably Priced Car

Having realised that with all the protein and creatine the stars have been eating they can no longer afford fancy cars, Vin’s crew now rebuild some small hybrid cars to make them capable of a 20 second quarter mile.


9) Fast and Reasonably Furious 9: Repossession

Despite having downgraded to cheaper vehicles, the sheer weight of the bloated continuation of the series leads to the repo-men arriving and taking all the cars. When Vin and his crew confront the repo-men, the repo’s say “This is what we do.”


10) Fast and Not Really Furious 10: Nursing Home Drift

Now confined to wheelchairs and with rapidly deflating biceps, Vin’s crew trick out some wheelchairs and mobility scooters to pass the time between naps.



Tagged: Blockbuster, Car porn, Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, Dwayne Johnson, fancy cars, Fast 5, Fast and Furious, Fast and Furious 6, Funny, Hulk, Humor, Humour, Jason Statham, Movies, Paul Walker, Point Break, Right What You No, Series, Stupid movies, The Fast and The Furious, The Rock, tony jaa, Tyson Adams, Vin Diesel
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Published on September 28, 2013 21:22
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