The Art of Seduction
Well, I've had a strange week. Before I continue with why, just remember I AM a respectable 37 year old mother of two, married etc. Honestly! I like the countryside, growing vegetables and cooking great food. I love riding my horse, oh and OK writing erotic novels. Clearly, I protest too much, but a girl has to try.
I have equally respectable friends in my village, we have village events and fetes and fund raising - all the predictable stuff. However, every quarter we have a night out in York which we have called "The Ten Years Younger Club".
Last time was quite debauched, my friend even doesn't remember the taxi ride home. I think it could possibly be my fault really, I bought more Prosecco than we needed, and in fact was almost nearly arrested for drinking it from the bottle while waiting for our taxi. I say nearly, because when the police stopped we all tried to look very respectable and scared. I mean, we are not the binge drinking generation and I will never ever flash my knickers and collapse in a heap of girly giggles. Nope, far too respectable.
I will however, locate gorgeous men in any situation, and, being an outrageous flirt (after Prosecco) I have a guilty pleasure. I take their photo - I ask them first of course and then later we have a giggle and rate the guy. The last one was gorgeous, tall and dark with piercing eyes.
I decided he was my Edward and told him I was going to write a book based on him, well I omitted it was about erectile dysfunction!
I treat it as research, so it's fine isn't it? Yes OK it's a bit mean and only something a group of 40 something woman could get away with. Oh and me. But I suspect I lead the village ladies astray somewhat.
This strange nocturnal activity has earned me a reputation with my closest friend, and so the other day I received a serious email from her.
Her sister is 38, single and looking for a man. Can she join us on the "Ten Years Younger Club"? Yes of course, as long as she adheres to the rules (drink Prosecco, look respectable and lust after hotties?)
My friend insists - yes yes of course she will and she continues the real reason she wants her to join us. She emails me again in more detail:
"However I want a favour, tell me if you feel uncomfortable but you seem to have a skill at this, will you help her find a man?"
The penny drops and actually I think this is fab. Give me two glasses of Prosecco and my reasonable flirting skill raises a few levels. It would appear my friends sister has, well, she has zero skill. Flirting is an art, you need to practice to get skilled at it.
She's quite shy too apparently, and I think its a great idea. My friend wants to rate the guys though, a little like blind date.
I thought some more, maybe I should make it a bit more official - you know, advertise it on social media - the location etc. and actually see if anyone turns up who fits her requirements.
My business head turns the start of an idea, but before I take it too far I realise that the role I am considering isn't that far off being a Madame!
Erm.... I wanted to grow old gracefully wearing a headscarf and wellies while picking leeks NOT pimping out single ladies to unsuspecting victims
I have equally respectable friends in my village, we have village events and fetes and fund raising - all the predictable stuff. However, every quarter we have a night out in York which we have called "The Ten Years Younger Club".
Last time was quite debauched, my friend even doesn't remember the taxi ride home. I think it could possibly be my fault really, I bought more Prosecco than we needed, and in fact was almost nearly arrested for drinking it from the bottle while waiting for our taxi. I say nearly, because when the police stopped we all tried to look very respectable and scared. I mean, we are not the binge drinking generation and I will never ever flash my knickers and collapse in a heap of girly giggles. Nope, far too respectable.
I will however, locate gorgeous men in any situation, and, being an outrageous flirt (after Prosecco) I have a guilty pleasure. I take their photo - I ask them first of course and then later we have a giggle and rate the guy. The last one was gorgeous, tall and dark with piercing eyes.
I decided he was my Edward and told him I was going to write a book based on him, well I omitted it was about erectile dysfunction!
I treat it as research, so it's fine isn't it? Yes OK it's a bit mean and only something a group of 40 something woman could get away with. Oh and me. But I suspect I lead the village ladies astray somewhat.
This strange nocturnal activity has earned me a reputation with my closest friend, and so the other day I received a serious email from her.
Her sister is 38, single and looking for a man. Can she join us on the "Ten Years Younger Club"? Yes of course, as long as she adheres to the rules (drink Prosecco, look respectable and lust after hotties?)
My friend insists - yes yes of course she will and she continues the real reason she wants her to join us. She emails me again in more detail:
"However I want a favour, tell me if you feel uncomfortable but you seem to have a skill at this, will you help her find a man?"
The penny drops and actually I think this is fab. Give me two glasses of Prosecco and my reasonable flirting skill raises a few levels. It would appear my friends sister has, well, she has zero skill. Flirting is an art, you need to practice to get skilled at it.
She's quite shy too apparently, and I think its a great idea. My friend wants to rate the guys though, a little like blind date.
I thought some more, maybe I should make it a bit more official - you know, advertise it on social media - the location etc. and actually see if anyone turns up who fits her requirements.
My business head turns the start of an idea, but before I take it too far I realise that the role I am considering isn't that far off being a Madame!
Erm.... I wanted to grow old gracefully wearing a headscarf and wellies while picking leeks NOT pimping out single ladies to unsuspecting victims
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