You Never Consent to a Search of Your Vehicle…And Other Info
The title says it all. Sorry cop friends out there, but it needs to be said.
Today, I saw a news story about a woman who had been subject to an invasive roadside search following being pulled over for a broken head light. What drove me crazy wasn’t the invasiveness of the search. It was the fact that the women had consented to the fucking search in the first place.
So tonight, I’m going to use the legal knowledge I wasted $40k getting, so I could become a freelance writer who rarely writes legal articles, to tell you all exactly how to handle being stopped by the cops.
Number 1 – Open your window just enough to hand over your driver’s license and registration.
An inch will do it. No more. Stop doing that ridiculous shit where you roll your damn window all the way down. You know what happens when you do that? A cop can shove his head into the car and sniff around. All he needs to do is say he caught a whiff of something illegal and he’s got probably cause. There is no legal precedent that requires you to roll your window all the way down. NONE.
Number 2 – Understand what ‘failure to obey a lawful order’ really means.
For example, in the previous instance, you might be told by the officer that you are being ordered to roll down your window all the way. He might threaten you with arrest on ‘failure to obey a lawful order’. Let me make this clear; when stopped by a cop, you are required to do two things. You are required to provide him with identifying information and you are required to comply with him in any order that is designed to investigate a crime, prevent the commission of a crime, or prevent injury to the officer. When a cop has you in a field side sobriety test, and he tells you to spit out your gum or stop smoking, yes, you must comply. At that point, they are investigating a possible crime and your gum or cigarette is interfering with it. In addition, a lit cigarette could be considered a weapon.
However, when you have your window cracked a quarter inch, and the officer is telling you to roll it down, ‘failure to obey a lawful order’ no longer applies because he is seeking access to your ‘domicile’. You are allowed to say no.
Number 3 – Refuse any search.
Violation of a traffic law does not immediately mean that there is something illegal going on in the vehicle. You having a broken taillight or driving over the speed limit is no valid cause for a search of your vehicle. A police officer can search you at three specific times;
You have consented to a search (stupid, stupid, stupid)
When they have a search warrant to search your vehicle
When you are under arrest or they have probable cause.
The first two are standard. If you let the vampire-cop in, you can’t take it back. When a judge lets him in, you have no control. But probable cause is incredibly tricky. If you are being arrested, then yes, they have reasonable cause to search your vehicle because a crime is believed to have been committed. Any other time, it is super wishy-washy.
Here’s the deal people; if you’re shitfaced and getting arrested, then you’re getting searched anyway. A cop is NOT GOING TO GO EASY ON YOU because you made it easier to arrest you. District Attorneys make plea bargains, cops don’t. When they ask for a search, they are looking for easy evidence. Don’t give it to them. Always refuse a search of your person or your vehicle when asked. Even if you have nothing to hide, still refuse. The goal of a vehicle or personal search isn’t to make you look innocent. It is to find a reason that you are guilty. Just say no.
Also, when in a vehicle, the person driving the vehicle is considered to have control of the vehicle. Even if they don’t own it, they can still consent to a search. Lesson here; never let an idiot drive your car. There is never a good reason to consent to a search.
Getting a warrant is a time consuming process. Cops never get warrants to search vehicles unless a serious crime is involved. If you’re getting arrested, you’re getting searched. If a cop searches your car on a questionable probable cause, you’re getting away with it. Simply stated NEVER CONSENT TO A SEARCH.
Number 4- Refuse a ‘courtesy seat’ in the cruiser
This rule comes with an anecdote.
About five years ago, my buddy Gaston was a passenger in a vehicle. He was a bike messenger and he had his bike messenger bag on him. Also, Gaston was kind of a drug dealer and had a few ounces of weed packed away in his messenger bag. Luckily, Gaston was a very, very smart drug dealer.
His buddy got pulled over for DUI. When the police officer asked the driver to exit the vehicle, Gaston exited it as well. He immediately called a friend to pick him up from the scene. Now, this was New Hampshire in wintertime, so it was cold as hell. The police went through a search of the vehicle and found nothing. Then they asked Gaston if they could see his bag.
“Am I being arrested for something?”
“No.”
“Absolutely not. I have private client files in here.” Gaston clutched his messenger bag and stood on the shoulder of the highway.
“You know we have probable cause.”
“Yes, you already arrested the owner of the vehicle and have the right to search the car he was driving. That search does not include my person.”
Understanding that Gaston knew his shit, the cop walked away. After five minutes, the cop came back. This time, he was being ‘good cop’.
“It’s awfully cold out here. Do you want to sit in the cruiser until your friend shows up to get you?”
Gaston was smart. He knew getting into a police cruiser immediately subjects you to a search, to ensure officer safety. “Nah, I think I’ll walk to meet my friend up the road.”
Gaston walked away with a messenger bag full of weed. If he’d accepted that seat, he probably would have done 2 years.
Simply stated, cops aren’t usually nice to suspects. They’re nice to victims. If you are a suspect, refuse any pretense of courtesy. Chances are, the cop is trying to get you into his car so he can search you. Just say no.
Number 5 – Refuse the field sobriety test.
Can you say your alphabet backwards? I know I sure as hell can’t. The field sobriety test is not that scientific. In fact, they’re actually kind of designed to make sure you fail. They come in three parts;
Horizontal Gaze Nystagmus – Allegedly, the ways that your eyes ‘jerk around’ can prove that you are wasted. Here’s the thing; these ‘jerks’ are something called ‘micro-expressions’. For someone to truly recognize an anomaly in the horizontal gaze, they would need to spend years studying human expressions and social sciences. They would not learn this during a weekend seminar run by ITT Technical Institute. Cops aren’t scientists. They are cops. They will see what they want to see when they shine that flashlight in your eyes.
The Walk and Turn – Got bad knees like me? Then you are fucked. The test goes as follows. You will be told to take nine steps in one direction, then turn around. If you are unable to follow instructions during this test, then you are impaired…or you have a whole host of other conditions like you are anxious, embarrassed, cold, hot, afraid, have to pee, you’re bad at following directions, below average intelligence, above average intelligence, suffer from OCD, suffer from borderline personality disorder, are uncomfortable with authority, have a numerical form of dyslexia, have ADD, have ADHD, have fibromyalgia, have an inner ear condition, have recently ruptured an eardrum or have any physical or mental condition that keeps you from walking normally or prevents you from processing directions the way normal people do.
The One Leg Stand – How long can you stand on one leg without getting clumsy? For me, it’s about three seconds. In the one leg stand you are subject to this test for 30 seconds with one of your feet 6 inches off the ground. In the meantime, you’re counting by thousands. If you put your foot down, or use your arms to balance, you are considered impaired. It’s like the world’s shittiest game show.
The tests in a field sobriety test are designed to make you fail. Even sober people fail them. Participating does nothing to help you. It’s just a justification to take you down to the station and get a breathalyzer. Honestly, your time would be better spent just going to get the fucking breathalyzer.
Look people, I respect cops. I respect the work that they do. At the same time, there are over-zealous newbs out there that will bust anyone for just about anything. They will try to trick you into listening to them by promising you that the law will go easier on you if you comply. Here’s the thing; it won’t. Cops aren’t in charge of your sentencing. The prosecuting attorney and the judge are. Your goal isn’t to make it past them. It’s to keep from getting arrested in the first place. Stop playing along because you are afraid of insulting or offending someone. Instead, ask questions. Refuse unreasonable searches and tests. Hell, our forefathers died in order to give you the rights to refuse those searches and tests.
Use them.
