all the feelings, and then some.

Earlier this week the fab Sarah Bessey wrote a post about having ALL THE FEELINGS about conferences.Which I loved. Because I too have all the feelings about ginormous conferences.
And ever since then, those words, ALL THE FEELINGS, have gone round and round in my head like a broken record. Because friends, right now, I find that I am having ALL the feelings about ALL the things. 
In the past week I have been convinced whole heartily that we should *Buy an old camper and turn it into a guest room/portable vacation abode/craft studio*Buy an unfinished house on 20 acres 45 minutes from town*Buy an almost mostly perfect farmhouse smack dab in the middle of the 'hood*Plank the wall above our fireplace*Knock out all the walls between the kitchen and living room*Sell our house As Is and see what happens* Buy a lake cabin*Add on another floor*Run Away
As you can see I might be having a bit of an issue sorting things out.Also, here is a little quirk about walking the earth as me: My first instinct upon experiancing panic is always to want to change my physical surroundings. NOW. Depending on how desperate things feel, this can mean I make new throw pillow covers or completely rearraning the living room or search obsessively for the perfect rug online. Or something like the list above can begin to emerge.
This weekend is my birthday. I will be 39. The countdown to 40 begins.
My kids are literally, half grown. We are at the mid-way point as a family. There is an expiration stamp on our life all under one roof. On the time we have left to raise them.My whole life I have wanted to have a family, and now I have them and within a decade they will be gone.And I am lying about 3/4 the way under the bus right now and it's getting a little hard to breathe.
Thankfully, this weekend begins our Fall Break. 9 days off from work or school. Sweet Man and I are starting the breakby going to a cabin in the woods, beside a lake to be together, to read, to fish, to sort through ALL THESE FEELINGS, and to prayerfully consider what the next ten years might hold for us.
During this week I am going to also go on a little social media break-no tweeted, instaing, blogging, fb'ing etc. So as to not bombard you with my daily dose of crazy. And to create a little much needed space in my heart and brain to listen. And to really hear.Because the good Lord knows, I cannot hear much right now. Not with the racket ALL THE FEELINGS are making.
Thank you for coming here and hanging out with me even on days like today. I really love you for it.And I will see you soon.Peace and blessings friends-J