Twisted Vagabondage Tale From Bulgaria Part I

I was on the way slow train from Budapest through the Balkans enroute to Bulgaria, guzzling Egri Bikavier (Bull’s Blood) wine and chainsmoking, when the train came to a jolting halt in order to be boarded by some heavily armed Serbian soldiers.

A Serb with an impressive handlebar moustache and assault rifle demanded my passport. “Americansky!” the Serb spat. “You must get off train!”

Knees buckling, I asked “The train won’t leave without me, will it?” Considering all the seething turmoil i...