Why Anxiety Ink Means a lot to Me

When we first came up with the name Anxiety Ink, we loved it. If only for the simply reason that every writer is anxious.

For me, Anxiety Ink resounded on a different level.

For nearly 10 years, I have been living with a diagnosis of depression. Specifically, PMDD. For the first portion of my diagnosis, there was a lot of questions about whether or not this really was a disorder, or just an inflated assessment of PMS symptoms in women. However, half of my adult life has been spent with 2 weeks of reprieve between similar-length periods wrought with anxiety, irritability, depression, panic attacks, difficulty concentrating, fatigue….the whole gambit.

I have been on a variety of medications, ranging from herbal remedies, dietary supplements, various anti-depressants, and birth control. Each trial resulted in things like increased symptoms (!!), or vertigo at 3am, or insomnia, or even mania.

After five years of stability, I had to shake up the treatment deck again to maintain effectiveness. There are some months that are far worse than others. Some months make my spouse the enemy, some months everyone else is the enemy. I’m lucky to be surrounded with people who believe in me not only as a writer, but as a person. Because I so frequently do not.

So, in this post, I want to mention some of the quotes that help me as mantras when I need to pick up and fight for myself.

“Live the life you love, love the life you live” – Why yes, I do know that the original Bob Marley quote was for the other way around. However, this one makes more sense to me to immediately make my day better because it will make me love the life I am living. Take the time to write if that is what makes you happy. Take the time out for you. Honour yourself.
“This too shall pass” - You bet it will. Just calm down and let it fall away. Rejection? Send out the next one. You will always have new work, new ideas, new presses to send to. Don’t invest all your worth in one event–you are so much more than that.
“Do more of what makes you happy” – Let go of that other stuff that bogs you down. Do what makes you truly happy. Even if it’s uncomfortable at first getting back into the groove, even if you doubt yourself, even if what you think you are writing is horrific and should never see the light of day. You will appreciate it in the long run. Let the feelings out and let them seep into your words. You’ll be surprised at the power those words hold later.