Day Of The Pigeons

I recently made the final payment for that new sensational carport next to my house. What a great feeling that was. My life became very quiet on the homeland with the workmen gone, but left me with these beautiful new improvements to stare at different times of the day. Yes, I have a new habit. When climbing my stairs, I stop and stick my head out the window to get that great feeling from all the new splendor. I still need to have the house pressure washed, but the new construction is a grand treat. It was the day after I finished paying for this new structure  when something terrible happened, something so fowl that it has given me nightmares since. That morning, I turned on the shower but something stopped me from stepping in to let the warm water rinse my body… an odd odor from the water. It was disturbing to say the least. I turned off the water and threw on some clothes. Climbing the stairs to my terraza, the roof deck, I was able to see the top of the tower where my two large water tanks live. Sure enough, the evidence was overwhelming. One of the lids had shifted in a wind storm, leaving an opening large enough for a bird to fly in for a drink of water.

I was sickened.

Quickly, I phoned a friend who came out to take care of the problem; he arrived within hours. We negotiated the fee for him to clean out the tank, and get rid of whatever had flown into it, that fowl thing that had stopped me dead in my tracks from entering my shower.

For some unknown reason, this tower attracts pigeons… I've seen as many a dozen of them lined up along the wall. A few years ago, I even anchored one of those fake owls to this upper chamber. The instructions said, Just attach this creature to your tower and no birds will dare go near this area. Ha! Can I sue for false advertising?! When I look up toward my tower at any given time of the day, I will see these nature wonders with wings perched near my plastic scarecrow, sometimes on top of him! They see me and I know they are laughing, mocking my very existence. They have become the root of my home owner frustration. They poop like rabbits. I mean everywhere. I have a beautifully tiled terraza on my rooftop, full of pigeon poop. Ugh! Yes, these rascals provide me with no love, but rather, filth to constantly clean up. Unlike the other beautiful birds, the iguanas, the geckos… these guys are not my friends.

You can imagine their delight when the wind blew my water tank’s lid open. Why, this was like providing them with a swimming pool in the tower resort they had taken over. I envisioned them standing in line to take the first dive in this marvelous pool of water; maybe enjoy the liquid as a cocktail, wash off a bit. Oh yes. There is a reason these winged fowls love my tower.

Tomas, my savior, climbed the ladder to the tower to take a look at the problem. I stood, helpless on the terraza, hoping for news that would not make me want to throw up. Sometimes, you don’t get what you wish for.

Tomas removed the lid and I heard a sound of agony slip from his lips. THERE WERE TWO BIRDS IN THERE. The smell had to have made neighbors pinch their noses. He looked down at me with an odd expression, disbelief… “You took showers with this water?!”

I was mortified! My words stumbled out of my mouth, the utter embarrassment hijacking my confidence. Then a thought came to light. Tomas had house sat with Rani while I was out of town the last month! I mustered up some courage and shouted upwards, “Hey, mister. You must have showered in it too!”

I realize now how childish I must have sounded, but I had him. No more humiliation for me. I was blindsided when he responded, “No way, lady. The last wind storm we had was the night I house sat!” He could be seen calculating the days by the way he looked at his watch. It didn’t take much time for him to look down at me and laugh, an audible, cocky laugh that told me I was finished with this war of words. Tomas was right, he was clean and I was guilty of showering in this smelly liquid.

“I didn’t know, really! I didn’t smell it until this morning! Please, just clean it so I can take a shower. Please, this is our secret. My friends won’t understand how I could not know. Pleeeaaasssseee, Tomas!”

Tomas went through a 5 gallon jug of Clorox, a quart of laundry detergent, and two hours of scrubbing the sides of this tank. I lowered my head and left the roof to spray the ground where the smelly water had drained.

When Tomas was finished cleaning up, I handed him the money we had agreed upon. He turned to leave when I tapped him on his shoulder. He turned to me with questioning eyes when I lowered my voice the way you do when you are saying something that you don’t want others to hear. “Tomas,” I whispered, “here is some more money, but if you take it, you are agreeing to never tell anyone about the shower incident.”

He looked into my eyes, searching for something before smiling and taking the money. We had a bond built upon an issue that would never be mentioned again. We had risen to a higher place of trust and admiration, and nothing would ever take that away. Yes, this would be remembered as the Day of The Pigeons.  

Did I learn anything? Sure. If you are going to put out hush money, don’t turn around and write a blog about it.
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You can read all about  drama  in my novels. Check them out at www.cmichaelsbooks.com, author of Twisted Thrillers.
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