The Emotional Rollercoaster of a New Author!

The desire to express ourselves is deeply rooted in almost all humans. For some, it comes out in rage or anger, in work ethic (or obsession), in Samaritan acts of kindness, or in charity. Many of us, however, chose to express ourselves through writing. Since I took up the challenge to write my first book – my first book that would lead one to believe that there will be one to follow… Oh My God! But let me stay focused –  Anyhow, it’s funny that almost everyone in the world, it seems, has either written a book, is writing a book, is thinking about writing a book, or is planning on writing a book.

So what is it about writing itself that so universally fulfills the human need to express? Is it ego, the desire to tell our own stories, or the belief that our words fictional or truthful will add something transformative into the ether?? Is it simply the ability to share knowledge?

To me, writing my first book was somewhat cathartic. It was not something I had ever wanted to do or ever felt compelled to do. Nonetheless, it happened. It was written and is being published, and the emotional toll that this process can take on someone is a psychologist’s dream.

I have three goals for this article: first, to share with you the emotional rollercoaster that I have ridden since I first realized my manuscript would actually get finished; secondly, to make you aware of the tremendous amount of negativity in the publishing world that will attempt to steal your dream from you; and third, to give you hope that you can in fact persevere and accomplish your goal of becoming a published author.   

The Writing

I once had an idea, a thought, a desire to immortalize myself with the written word. I pondered the concept of writing a book. Could I ever finish it? Why would I waste my time wanting to finish it? Who would ever be even remotely interested in reading it if in fact anyone would be dumb enough to publish it? How the hell do you even get a book published in the first place? I had no idea about any of it, so why should I waste my time? This mental battle went on in my mind for months. What I had to do is forget about the questions and just decide for myself: did I have something that I wanted to say? Whether you’re writing the next great novel or a celebrated work of non-fiction, who knows it’s potential if it’s never written?

So I write and rip and write and rip some more. The more I write the more trees that I kill or the more I hit the delete key on my computer. I found that I hated most of what I wrote, and the more I read it, the more I hated it. There were moments when I became like a man dying in the desert, seeing an oasis only to realize my mind was playing tricks on me. In these brief moments, I actually believed that I had written something worth sharing.

When I finally got a few words down that made some semblance of sense, a great calm set upon me. I came to the great realization that I didn’t care whether anyone wanted to publish it or not; I was writing a book, and by God, how many people can say that? With this revelation giving me new resolve and inspiration, I pressed on.

 Publishing

Now here is the sad addiction that comes with writing, at least for me. This great revelation of calm that had come over me during the early writing period only lasted until I realized that I may actually complete my work. Whether it was any good became irrelevant to me. What was important was how could I get this published? Thus started a journey of rejection, self-doubt, and unfairness, for those of you on this journey, please remember that there is also hope.

Once I decided that my book would in fact become a reality, hopefully not just scrap paper used to wrap a dead fish in, I did what every novice does who is looking to become an overnight expert in anything from writing complex computer programs to gardening. I went out and bought the Idiots Guide. Somewhere within the first five or so pages, this is roughly what I read: ‘if you’re writing a book for the first time, don’t waste your time; and if the book has anything to do with yourself, you are really wasting your time.’ Boy, am I glad I didn’t read this two years earlier. I never would have started. It goes on to say that to get published you need a platform, a following of thousands of individuals who will flock to the closest bookstore the day your book is released and buy it just because you wrote it. Well just how do you build a platform? I am neither Bill O’Reilly nor Snookie, but there is another way. Have a book published. Wait, is this the chicken or the egg?

What is a would-be author to do? I have it! The Internet! You can find anything about anything on the Internet. Even things you don’t want to know! On the Internet, if you type “getting a book published,” you will find 242,000,000 results. I cannot begin to sum up the total of all the bizarre and varied blogs, articles, sales pitches, and dribble you will find. The results can be so overwhelming they’ll make you wish you had chosen stand-up comedy as your avenue of expression. However, the bottom-line of the most seemingly reliable sites is that you need an agent, you need a platform, and it will be tough to find a publisher.

So I decided to look for a publisher. Twenty-nine rejection letters later, with the final one saying – and I quote – “don’t call us even if Lady Di appeared to you in a dream and promised that your book would be highlighted on Oprah!”

But Bob, where is the hope, you ask? The hope lies in the fact that there are a tremendous number of “nitch” publishers out there who specialize in working with new authors. You don’t need an agent or a large platform. You only need a worthy manuscript and belief in your project.

The Beast Grows:Marketing

I have to say that when I first started talking to my publisher and finally sent them my manuscript, the excitement of having a real publisher willing to read my manuscript was consuming. The thirty some days waiting to hear back as to whether or not they would work with me was much like waiting for my son to be born, except this time, I was going through the labor pain

Waiting, I would tell myself I didn’t care if anyone ever bought my book. Then came that grand moment: by God, I’m getting a book published! How many people can say that? Unfortunately, that feeling only lasted about five minutes after getting the acceptance email.   

Okay, you’re getting published. Now, it’s time to sell the book!

Let’s be honest. If no one buys it, what have I accomplished? BQB has a great marketing department and will do many things to help market my book, but here is the reality. I wrote a book, great. But nobody knows me, and that’s just who will buy my book: nobody. It’s going to be up to me to market and get the word out.

My next task: how to make this thing sell. With help from the marketing team provided by my publisher, I started to formulate my game plan. But first I of course went to the all-knowing… well… the internet there are 668,000,000 entries on how to sell your book. You sure would think that with this plethora of marketing knowledge that selling my book would be a piece of cake. Well, let me give you the bad news. The most credible sources that I have found say that roughly 200,000 books will be published each year, and 98% will only sell between 200 and 500 copies. Now, isn’t that encouraging?! 

I was at a crossroads. Do I jump in with both feet and develop an attack plan with no promise of success, or do I settle with the self-fulfillment of an accomplishment that many only dream of, being a published author.

Letting the river run its own course has never been my style, so I’m in with both feet and the rest of my body. Blogging, web sites, social media, talking about my book with everyone I know, and hoping I don’t anger any of my relatives so I’m not banned from the family picnics. The task is not easy, but what in life that is worthwhile ever is?

I have been overcome with so many different emotions since this project started several years ago, from self-doubt, pride, and discouragement to a great sense of accomplishment. Then, I realize that because of my makeup, the work is just starting. I try to tell myself, by God, Bob, you wrote a book, had it published, and a few hundred people have purchased it. It doesn’t matter if it is ever more successful… Yeah, right…

Best of luck in making your dream come true!

 Bob