Twilight of the Zombies

After seeing the nascent Clown Holocaust arising in England, it occurs to me that Zombies are no longer cool or edgy; they are becoming worn out and prosaic. For Pete's sake, they're showing up in Sprint PCS stores inquiring about their "Unlimited for Life" guarantee. We have zombie computers, zombie processes, zombie debt, zombie loans, zombie banks--zombie zombie zombie. I realized that the golden age of zombies had jumped the shark when I saw the government getting on board with Zombie Apocalypse preparedness drivel from FEMA and the CDC. Nothing takes something from sixty to zero like the government. It's sadly tragic and mildly embarrassing by proxy, like me wearing Old Navy clothing. If the grown-ups are doing it, it just isn't cool anymore.

I'm not saying that all the impending zombie doom heading at us in the the form of World War Z isn't happening, or that Max Brooks and J. L. Bourne are just writing third-rate Twilight fan fiction. I am merely saying that I believe I have glimpsed the beginning of the end of this iteration of the zombie craze. But who knows, I could be wrong. I frequently am (my wife has reams of evidence to support this). All I know is that twenty-some years ago, I was hearing "Can't Touch This" being weaponized into a sonic death ray inside a club where I was working security. Yesterday, I heard it in a Eggos commercial.

You will know that it is finally, totally over when you hear Isolated System playing in your dentist’s waiting room.