Venus and Iris: A Children's Story (but not really)

I've just written a draft of a children's book, although it may be more for adults. Comments welcome.




Venus and Iris

A children's story (but not really)

 (to be illustrated) 


Deep in the bog, with the cicadas singing, Mama Venus Flytrap no longer looked so scary. Her leaves were yellow and
limp.



Even her traps' jaws were limp. And even though a tasty beetle sat
in one of her her traps, the trap would not close.



Mama's son looked up at her,
worried.



"It's all right, my son. It's my time to return to the earth. It
is your time to grow up from the earth."



"Mama, please don't die," the
boy whispered.



Mama's leaves got so limp they started to shrivel. "And
remember son, I know you love to eat but eat only one fly each day. More and you'll melt into the earth."



And with that, mama melted into the earth.



And the
boy was sad. Very sad.



And he was scared. It was his first time alone and
he worried he'd always be alone. Sure, there were a lot of baby
venuses there, but they didn't seem to count.



He was just old enough to start noticing things. He noticed that he had eight red traps. He thought they were kind of ugly and wished they were green like the rest of him.



He also noticed things outside himself. He looked to the left. Just some baby venuses and some brush.



He looked to the right .Just some baby venuses and some peat.



He looked ahead. Just some baby venuses and lots of bog.



But then he looked behind. And there was an iris.



And it was beautiful.



It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.



It's hard for flytraps to talk, especially young ones, but he summoned all his energy and croaked "Hi."



Iris stared at his traps andeven though they were little, those teeth! She got scared and so she looked away.



Embarrassed and sad, he turned away too.



Days passed and every so often, a fly or beetle would fall into his trap and as soon as it touched two of the trap's trigger hairs, the trap slammed shut. Well, a growing boy has to eat. 



And the boy grew bigger.



And every so often he would look at Iris. But the bigger he got, the scarier he looked and the faster she turned away. So he did too.



Months passed and now he was big. And all those baby venuses were almost as big as he was.



And then one day, there was a loud buzzing: Beetles!



He looked at Iris. She was covered with beetles! They were eating her!!



The boy widened his traps and squeezed really hard so lots of the attractive dew sat in the traps.



And it worked! A beetle jumped off Iris and right onto his trap. Snap! Dinner is served.



But there were still beetles, lots of beetles, all over Iris. He didn't care that she had been scared of him. He loved her. He really wanted to save her.



But what could he do? The beetles had chewed big holes in Iris's leaves and were making more holes, faster and faster.



She was starting to wilt.  He had to think of something, and fast!.



He thought and he thought. And then he noticed the other flytraps. Yes!



Even though flytraps find it very hard to speak, love makes almost anything possible. So he tried to speak but, alas, all that came out was digested beetle!



He tried again. More digested beetle!



He tried yet again and, finally, words came out: "Please help me save my Iris!"



But the other flytraps didn't move.



"Please!," he cried.



Still the flytraps remained still.



He screamed, "I love her more than life itself."



And that awakened Venus the God of Love and all of a sudden, all the flytraps squeezed as hard as they could so their traps would open as wide as they could and so lots of attractive dew appeared on their traps.



And like a magnet,  the beetles jumped into the traps. Well, most of them.



Exhausted, all the other flytraps fell asleep.



But three beetles were still left on Iris. Now what?!



He couldn't eat them himself. He had just eaten one and remembered what his mama warned him: "Eat more than one in a day and you'll die."



But the boy looked at Iris and he knew what he had to do.



He squeezed harder than he ever had in his entire life.



And then he squeezed some more.



And all his traps opened the widest they'd ever been, even wider than you do when the doctor says, "Say ah!"



And all the traps were completely covered with that glistening, attractive dew.



And just like that, the three beetles jumped from Iris and into his traps. Snap. Snap. Snap.



The boy looked at Iris. And he was happy.



And this time, she did not look away. She leaned toward him.



And the boy was very happy.



But then the boy felt sick.



And he wondered, "Should I have eaten those beetles?"



And then he melted into the earth and joined his mama.



Would you have eaten the beetles?