State Who You Are

I am 44 years old, and I just returned to high school.

As a Spanish teacher.

I graduated in 1987, so it has been a few years since I was in a building with teenagers all day, and I have to tell you I have had flashbacks to all the things that made me feel uncomfortable and embarrassed and worthless when I was in high school.

The night before the open house for parents I looked in the mirror before going to bed. There on my chin was a massive zit. I was horrified and imagined what everyone would think of me. Then I started laughing. Really? Forty-four years old and worried about my complexion before going to high school?

On the first day of school, I watched my room fill up with a bunch of young athletes, and old feelings resurfaced, of being the choir nerd and the one who cried after every.  single.  PE class. I chatted with my Spanish classes a bit and told each group a little bit about myself, making this declaration:

I am THE most unathletic human being who ever lived on the planet earth.

The next day I proved my statement correct when a student tossed me a dry erase marker from across the room—the moment of truth.

The marker landed on the floor.

He looked at me incredulously and said, I threw it perfectly. You didn’t even have to move your hands, just hold them out and catch the marker.

I confirmed, once again, that I did not have one tiny athletic bone in my body. Can’t catch. Can’t throw. Can’t kick. Can’t hit. Can’t run.

Yesterday another student tossed something to me. I picked it up off the floor.

I can’t catch, really.

And the same young man gave me the same incredulous look. Then we both laughed.

We laughed.  

This is something I could not do in high school. I couldn’t laugh. I could only turn red and feel like an idiot and want to crawl under the covers and never come out.

But now I am able to say, out loud, “I AM UNATHLETIC,” because I appreciate the people who are athletes. I watched some volleyball girls play a game last night, and the way one girl quickly got under a fierce spike? Amazing. I’m glad some girls are gifted on a volleyball court, and it’s okay that I’m not.

I am able to say, out loud, “I AM UNATHLETIC,” because now I know I am a lot of other things that don’t start with “un”. I am a good wife and a loving mom. I am a writer. I am a teacher. I am a daughter of Christ. I am a friend. I am prayerful. I am a student of God’s word.

I am able to say, out loud, “I AM UNATHLETIC,” because I know other people desperately need to know I’m not perfect. If I am “un”, it gives permission for others to be “un”.

So I say to you, young woman, state who you are. Say it nice and loud. Learn to laugh at the weak spots and thank God for the strengths.

I’ll help you get started: You are valuable.

It's okay to be an "un". @MargaretMcSweeney @Christy_Fitz
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