Letting go of Regret through the Power of Forgiveness

Have you ever done something so bad that you didn’t think you could ever forgive yourself? Even worse, have you ever believed God couldn’t forgive you? That was the case for Rodrigo Mendoza, a character portrayed by Robert De Niro in the film The Mission. It tells the story of redemption for someone who felt no hope and saw no possibility of forgiveness.

Mendoza was a mercenary and Indian slave trader whose business places him in a twisted love triangle with a beautiful woman (his fiancée) and his younger brother. After witnessing their infidelity, Mendoza’s jealousy and rage drives him to murder. He sits in a jail cell, angry, bitter, and consumed with self-hatred. He is visited by Father Gabriel, a Jesuit priest who asks if he dare find a suitable penance for his crime. Reluctantly, he agrees.

Carrying a net filled with rock and armor, he sets out with the Jesuits to climb to the top of Iguazu Falls and seek forgiveness from the Indians he murdered and traded as slaves. The Indians are waiting there to greet the priests. When they see Mendoza, they became agitated and call for their chief.

As Mendoza crests the summit with his heavy load, a knife wielding Indian grabs him by the hair waiting for a signal from the chief before he cuts his throat. The chief gives the order, and, in an act of mercy, the man cuts the cord from around Mendoza’s neck sending his sack alone over the cliff. Grace and mercy had set him free and changed his life.

Receiving God’s forgiveness for our wrongdoing can be difficult, but we should never question his desire to forgive us if we truly repent, because God’s very nature and character is one of forgiveness.

So how do we go about the process of forgiving ourselves? Here’s some suggestions to begin:

Recall the offense

Draw on God’s image of yourself and your dependence on him. Recognize the journey of self-forgiveness depends solely on God. Make a decision of the will to forgive yourself by recalling your offense and putting words to it. Decide to give yourself the gift of empathy.

Stop ruminating

Once you have repented, let it go. Accept what God has freely given with a grateful heart. Ruminating keeps you stuck. Chose to intentionally focus on the Scriptural truths that substantiate your forgiveness.

Recognize feelings aren’t facts

Knowing in our minds that we’re forgiven and feeling it are very different. Feelings are not always bearers of truth, they either are, or they are not. We make our feelings into facts by buying into lie based thinking; because we feel unforgiven, we act as if we’re unforgiven, and therefore believe we are not forgiven. God’s forgiveness of us was total and complete. We must embrace it.

Repair what damage you can

Make the necessary repair attempts to others you may have wounded. Ask for forgiveness. Publically repent if necessary. You may have to live with the consequences of your actions, but you will be able to live with yourself knowing you have done all that’s in your power to change direction.

Resolve to live differently

Repentance means a change of direction. Decide as Mendoza did to live virtuously. Not in an attitude of penance, but one that understands that God uses the worst of sinners to bring glory to his name. The most important part of your story may be yet to come and it will be greater than your transgressions!

Back at you: What kind of armor is in your bag today? What personal failures won’t you allow to die? And are you willing to step out and risk appropriating God’s forgiveness toward you and live the life of freedom he has graciously granted you?

What personal failures won’t you allow to die? @MargaretMcSweeney @HeartlinePod
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