Greetings, Endings and Beginnings
I’ve had a busy summer and just as I thought the wedding season was over and it would quieten down, I found myself working through the complete family announcements section of the newspapers. Not in the sense that I am a slow reader and it took me that long to read them; but as a Pagan Celebrant officiating at three major life events. Two were planned in advance, one was not.
Grace’s Naming Day was an event much looked forward to by her parents and family. Grace was born at the start of summer. She fought incredible odds against her surviving the first weeks after her early birth. Grace also contracted meningitis. She was a very poorly little girl indeed and her young parents endured a nightmare that most of us wouldn’t want to imagine.
Fast forward a few months and not only did Grace survive, but she is positively thriving. Anyone seeing her would never equate her with the little scrap in an incubator, wired up to so many machines. She is in a much, much better place than her mum and dad were given as a possible prognosis in the deepest part of her illness. Grace is a tribute to the special care baby unit in the hospital where she was born – she is also a tribute to the determination and strength of the life force we all have. She’s a very special little girl indeed, one who is doing all the things other babies of her age do, such as smiling and gurgling as if she’s auditioning for the opening sequence of Telly Tubbies. She laughs at the world, as if to say, ‘Who was sick? I’m here now!”
Her Naming Day was more than her naming; it was a celebration of the gift of life. Grace is the wonder of the beginning, the reminder that life will fight just to be. May she grow into her name.
I’ve performed a fair few legal Pagan religious marriages over the summer, and those are always fun to do; from the initial meeting the couple, to writing the ceremony, to the day itself. Handfastening is a part of the marriage ceremony and the symbolic tying the knot is a powerful visual reminder of the intent and the vows made. However, handfastening by itself is no longer a legal marriage and if the ceremony is to be a Legal Pagan Religious one, the notification has to be given at the local registrar office, as per all marriages. There is a form of words that must be said by the bride, groom and celebrant in front of witnesses to ensure that a marriage handfastening is legal, and all parties must sign the marriage schedule to confirm a legal marriage has taken place. However, a handfastening ceremony without the legal marriage declaration is a beautiful way to pledge vows to each other and some couples choose to have just this ceremony as a betrothal and promise, and then arrange a legal wedding ceremony later.
A young man from Germany, Ron, got in contact. He was coming to Scotland with his girlfriend for a holiday. He planned to propose to her whilst they were here and wanted to arrange a surprise handfastening at the time he proposed. Much to-ing and fro-ing by email and we organised the wording of the ceremony. Ron decided on Clava Cairns for his proposal. It didn’t take me long to figure out that Ron was a romantic – his girlfriend, Maria, had admired a ring when they were on Skye. He went back and bought it for her without her knowing. He wanted a piper. No problem, I knew just the person. Everything was organised. Bear in mind Maria knew nothing and this had the potential to go completely awry. The plan was for the piper and me go to Clava and set up. Ron and Maria would be there ‘looking around’ and would wander over to see what was happening, I’d begin the ceremony – then invite her to take part. That was the point Ron would propose to her. What could go wrong?
We arrived at Clava at the same time Ron and Maria did. The piper and I were in ceremonial clothes, so we stuck out. I did a good job of ignoring Ron and Maria but the piper not so much! We got set up. Ron and Maria moved towards our grove. A small black cat appeared from nowhere and sat in my circle. The piper played his cue and Ron and Maria wandered over – followed by a bus load of American tourists who’d chosen that moment to explore the cairns. They hadn’t a clue what was going on but they looked impressed and the wee black cat sitting beside the broomstick got its photo taken a fair few times.
I explained what was going to happen and announced that all handfastenings need a bride and groom; and then I invited Maria to join us. Ron proposed and the American tourists looked like they were going to explode with delight. She didn’t run away, she didn’t scream – she said yes. Ladies and gentlemen, we had a handfastening!
It was truly lovely – they both glowed. I wish them happiness in the world. So does the little black cat who took such an interest in the proceedings.The cat was so at home that Ron thought we’d brought it with us.
The tourist guide told me afterwards that as they were driving down, she’d explained that Clava Cairns was a sacred place and you never knew what was going on. She was rather pleased to find the handfastening ceremony – this was day one of the Americans’ tour and they had another nine days to go. Hope they found some other unusual sights too. I’d love to be a fly on the wall when they are back in the US talking about what they’d seen.
These two ceremonies were arranged in advance and celebrate the joys of life. The circle of life is two-thirds through the wheel or two-thirds down the newspaper announcement columns.
The final third was the unexpected ceremony, the funeral of a friend’s father. He was a lovely, jolly man, gone too soon. He was Pagan, though private about his beliefs. His family are Pagan. It is an emotional thing to write a personal ceremony in honour of the dead, to send their soul on its journey and to comfort the living who remain. It is harder still when you knew the person. Roy was just such a force of nature – a sunshine nature. His immediate family were understandably devastated. A great number of friends mourned his passing.
His daughter did him proud. His funeral service was written and agreed on after the usual discussions. It was a service full of funny anecdotes, personal reminiscences, laughter, tears and – most importantly – love. Roy had the send-off he would have wanted, accompanied by his favourite music.
And the circle closes with the death of this lovely man.I close my newspaper.
And I am reminded that this is what it is all about. None of us ever really die. We may be reincarnated. We may go elsewhere. But one thing is certain, the life force is strong in us all and even in death, we live on in the genes, the hearts and the memories of our descendents.
