How to tell if a Martian abducted your husband

My husband and I argued this weekend.

He stormed out of the house and headed toward the meadow.

At first, I was glad for the solitude.

Now I could stomp my feet and mutter to my heart’s content.

In a spurt of vengeance, I ate the last cookie in the pantry. That’ll teach him.

After a while, the solitude began to unnerve me.

Where was he? Why was he taking so long?

Was he having a good time without me?

When was he coming home?

Geez, what were we fighting about?

Uh, oh. Had he been abducted by Martians?

I picked up the phone to call Agent Mulder from the X-files.

The back door opened and my husband appeared, carrying flowers from the meadow.

I screamed. He really HAD been abducted by Martians…why else would he be carrying a bouquet?

I drove him to the doctor’s office right away.

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Have you ever encountered proof  your beloved was abducted by Martians?