Rescued from Norway

You may have read in the news that the Norwegians recently attempted to trap me by paying the Icelanders to burn parts of their country in order to spread a cloud of airborne debris across Europe, thus closing all the airports. It took me a while to get to the bottom of it, but eventually I worked out that the main aim was to keep me in Norway and prevent me from travelling back to Britain. The love they have for me is deep, true and lingering, but it is sometimes expressed in typically...