Indulgence

Women.  Wives.  Mothers.  Daughters.  We are the gender known for self-sacrifice, making sure our households, jobs , husbands, children, and parents get everything they need.  Too often, we receive little in return.  Often, this is our own faults.  “No, no.  I’m fine.  I’ve got this.  Not a problem,” we tell everyone else despite the fact we’re staggering under a mountain of responsibility.  Then, if we do take desperately needed time for ourselves, we feel guilty for it.
We know it’s wrong to live this way.  Studies have been done, television psychologists and doctors (along with our own) constantly remind us the world won’t end if the house isn’t vacuumed or calls aren’t returned or dinner is delivered by the pizza guy rather than made from scratch.  Yet we continue to ignore ourselves in favor of everyone else.
‘Indulgence’ for today’s woman is almost a dirty word.  I often think it might someday rank right up there with cock, pussy, fuck, etc.  Yet I think we can agree we all need a little something special to keep our spirits up.  I’ve found a few little gems that I wanted to share with you...indulgences that I give to myself and don’t feel guilty about. 
Trust me, you deserve this.  Best of all, some of these goodies cost as little as nothing to enjoy.

Have a Makeover
I have had sensitive skin issues since I was a teenager.  I’ve even dealt with skin cancer.  My dermatologist is kind of a drill sergeant with my skin care.  I am absolutely forbidden to use drugstore makeup like Cover Girl, Maybelline, etc.  As a result, my go-to cosmetics come from Clinique.
Clinique isn’t all that cheap, but their product is super.  Even at its elevated price, it is still one of the least expensive of the high-end cosmetics.  Best of all?  If you go to their counter in your local department store, you can request the trained salesperson to try out their product on you.  They will be happy to assess the best colors for you and make you up.  Voila!  Instant makeover, and it doesn’t cost a dime.  With employee turnover rates being what they usually are for retail, you can go in every few months to try out new colors and products, and no one is the wiser.
Say you do want to splurge a little on some really good moisturizer or that gorgeous eye shadow...then make sure you hit up the counter at their ‘free gift with a minimum purchase’ promotion, done by many department store cosmetic counters (Clinique’s is usually a $25 purchase).  Double score!  They always give you a full-sized lipstick along with a makeup bag filled with decent samples of mascara, moisturizer, toner, blush, and/or eye shadow.  Here’s what I snagged the last time I bought makeup from Clinique during their bonus giveaway:


Buy Designer Clothes
I have a problem:  I love designer clothing, shoes, and handbags.  I’m a nut for them.  I don’t care much about things like the Academy Awards, the Golden Globes, or the Grammys...but I love looking at what everyone’s wearing. 
However, I despise the prices.  If I EVER stoop to paying over fifty dollars for a pair of dress shoes, you all have permission to shoot me.  (This excludes boots.  I love boots.  I will pay stupid prices for boots if hubby’s back is turned.  Don’t shoot me over the boots, okay?  It’s a sickness and I can’t be held responsible for my actions.)
Maybe it’s not so much the designer clothes themselves as the adoration for getting them at super cheap prices.  This is where one of my favorite frugal indulgences comes in:  hitting the thrift stores and consignment shops for fabulous high-end threads.
It’s like a big treasure hunt for me to find something for next to nothing.  Hence, my love for local consignment shops.  I am lucky to live near a couple of resort areas where there are enough ridiculously wealthy types to keep the consignments and thrift stores well stocked.  My recent weight loss has left me with a desperate need for clothing, so I have actually been encouraged by Master St. John to go shopping.  And shop I have.  Clothes with tags still on them beckon, along with gorgeous handbags for every outfit.  Shoes are a bit harder to come by since I am apparently descended from Bigfoot, but I do manage to score once in a great while. 
Here is the adorable Chinese dragon purse I found just the other day for eight dollars:


No such shops in your area?  Not to worry.  This awesome thing known as the Internet is all the store the fashion conscious need.  You can sign up for Shopittome.com, which will let you select what big sales from which designers you want to be alerted to via email. 
Then there is my absolute favorite site to shop:  Fashion Project.  https://www.fashionproject.com/  If you still insist on feeling guilty over indulging yourself, Fashion Project should cure you of that.  The offerings here are pretty much a yard sale put on by designers, fashion editors, and celebrities ... and the proceeds go to charity.  Designer duds that have been gently used – or not used at all, still with the tags – can be had for up to 80 percent off.  Yes, you can have Prada, Valentino, Versace, Vera Wang, and Chanel at deep discounts and help out organizations like Big Brothers Big Sisters while you’re at it.  Glenn Close recently emptied her closet to benefit a charity.  She apparently loves Italian designers. 
I find the lesser known designers are the best buys, as you can see from my recent acquisitions:

Thirty-three dollars.  I am party-ready in this gold lace Betsy & Adam dress for 33 fucking dollars.  The purse, a vintage store find at $18, matches dead-on.

This Nanette Lapore suit is a little pricier, but still a good grab at 50 bucks.  Business, social events, funerals, whatever...I can wear it any place for any reason.

Declare One Day a Week Yours
Or at least a stretch of several uninterrupted hours.  I know, I know.  It feels impossible.  Yet it can be done.  I have a special needs kid, this writing gig you might have heard about, a husband, and an ailing aged parent.  Yet I still declare one day a week as mine.  I can’t hang around the house that day as I will inevitably get sucked into something I don’t want to do, so I leave.  The housework is not my problem for that day.  My husband will get my son off the bus.  I do not write.  For my sanity, my family’s safety, and my writing’s well-being, I am not available for several hours.  Whatever day is best to avoid all entanglements, I take it and run away.
I might shop.  (Do you get the idea that’s a favorite hobby of mine?)  I might go to the coffee shop and sit with a book.  I might go for a walk.  Whatever it is I choose to do, it is my time and no one else’s.  This is when I recharge and regroup.  You need to make this investment in yourself as well.  You cannot give to people when you’re all used up.  The well does run dry sooner or later.  It may feel like an indulgence, but in fact, time off is a necessity.  Declare this time sacred and don’t feel guilty.  You’re not only doing it for yourself, you’re doing it for everyone who depends on you.

Take 15 Minutes and Smile
This is probably going to sound corny to you, but I begin and end each day with a fifteen-minute ‘smile session’.  If you knew how I am when I first wake up, you’d split yourself open laughing.  I am not a nice person the instant I open my eyes in the morning.  I am not even really human.  I hate mornings.  I am mean and cranky and want to hit things. 
Starting the day off with fists a-swinging is not conducive to a good rest of the day.  I know this, so I practice smiling instead.  I think of something that makes me happy (naked Lidon usually does the trick) and keep thinking about that for 15 minutes.  If my head tries to take me somewhere that isn’t so happy (school troubles for my son, argument with my mom, ugly thing some douchebag said), I calmly re-direct my attention to what does make me feel good.  Add coffee afterward, and I am usually primed for a great day.  It’s well worth the time spent.
It’s an awesome way to end my day as well.  Again, nothing ugly is allowed to intrude.  I get insomnia often, and adding worries only makes it worse.  I have noted I sleep much better if I give myself happy thoughts just before bed (a whole troupe of naked Kalquorians if it’s been an especially frustrating day).
I mention this as an indulgence because too many of us complain about not getting enough rest, and surveys bear this out.  People simply aren’t getting their Z’s these days (eight hours is the average amount most of us need to function properly).  If you’re worrying, then chances are that you’re not sleeping so well.  Do yourself a favor and smile morning and night.  This ‘indulgence’ will make a big difference.

Now it’s your turn to share.  What indulgences and guilty pleasures make you feel good?  What gives you a respite from your hectic lives?