The Red River

The sheets were dark red and for good reason too.

I had no idea what was about to happen in those last 40 minutes. My midwife’s firm voice spoke deep into my heart, that place where you only go a few times in your life. The place where you give your all. Not just part of you, but your whole, entire being. Although at times it felt like I was running a marathon race, this, this act of bringing life forth required a different kind of strength. I didn’t know if I had it in me, if I was capable, if I could do this.

But there on the red sheets, I found the strength of surrender. With one last, long, focused push, his entire body slipped out into the world. A full-volumed scream of life escaped from his tiny body and healthy lungs. And there it was. Red. A red, wrinkly little face pulsing with life.

And the blood, oh the blood. It was all over everything. The birthing, the breathing, the pushing culminated in a river of blood. That red river- a reminder of the pain, yes.

But more importantly, that red river stood for the most pivotal,transformational moment of my life. When I even picture that day, the tears start to trickle down my face.

That day left a big red stain in my memory, in my heart. The stain of letting go. Because it was on that day — I gave all I had, to love. I surrendered completely, despite the gruesome pain, to bring forth life to another human being.

And that friends, challenges me again this day. Will I still let the blood flow?

Will I put it all aside and focus on giving life, no matter the cost? Jesus did that and He still does.

Will I follow in His steps, will I accept the adventure of living surrendered? Will I remember the Red River where life truly begins?

Maybe you feel you can’t go on and you are ready to quit. It’s all too painful or overwhelming. Keep going. You will find a new strength. A strength that you didn’t know you had. A strength that surrenders and ultimately gives life.

Do you remember the Red River where life truly begins? Charissa Steyn @MargaretMcSweeney
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