Atoning for not sinning nearly enough

As the day of Atonement comes perilously close and I look back on the panorama of my bad deeds over the past year; I am struck by the lack of evil, rotten things that I were deemed too bothersome to do.  Granted I was hobbled with an injured ballsac-aptly described as a water balloon , and walked around as if I was a constipated Dr Zaius from the Planet of the Apes;although  it’s really is no excuse for this fragile potsherd to have let go completely the Snidely Whiplash frosted side of the mini-wheat I call my personality,

The Day of Atonement checklist -going down my usual things to ask Santa’s Boss forgiveness for,….as you can plainly see I really should be getting credit at the Sin Bank

Running to do evil: hobbling perhaps, but very little evil                                                

Talebearing: nope: kept to myself

Disrespecting my Parents and Teachers:  C’mon…

Foolish lips: no collagen last year.

Sins of food and drink…maybe chocolate covered almonds but that’s it

Lusting…is that really a sin?

So you see, it was an off year…but I’m sure as hell going to try to make up for it next year