Almostly True: I Need A New Coat

I’m a 17th Level Office Manager. I currently have a maximum of 157 hit points, some magical artefacts may be involved, and a cursed suit jacket that causes apathy but looks quite smart.

The charity shop where I got it from has never existed, according to the locals I spoke to, which is a shame as I need a new coat and was hoping they’d have one of those longcoats that pirate wizards wear to ward off tea rounds and leviathans.

There are other, regular charity shops around my locality though but...