Fat Monkeys

There is some new report out about monkeys getting fat that is supposed to make me feel better about not being svelte and glorious. I don’t care about fat monkeys. I don’t want to feel better about being a fat primate. I want science to invent a pill that magically and without side effect, melts away pounds until I am exactly where I want to be, then stops and maintains for me.

That is all.

Because I am exhausted.