Bermudababble Week Sixteen
I’m in BERMUDA!!!!!! It feels like a month not a few days, since I threw my swimming cossie, a couple of oversized T’s and my Primark linen trousers into a suitcase and squeezed the Nairn from its tube (needs must girls!) I then set about preparing the boys to go back to school – each child needs seven shirts, two pairs of trews, two jackets, rugby gear, tracksuit, home clothes… and it all needed laundering and labelling etc. in short I was tethered to the iron for two days straight. You know the opening scene from Les Mis when they are pulling the really big boat – that was me, but with a little less sweat and I was allowed shoes.
Saying goodbye to people you love is never easy and I’ve done a lot of it this week. I actually quite enjoyed the flight – all that time to chat to The Major was lovely, well, I say chat, he just listened and at one point put on earphones, did that stop me? As if. I did have a bit of a dozy moo moment when I patted him on the arm and asked,
‘Do you think all these people are going to Bermuda?’
He shook his head and replied,
‘We are on a plane – on a direct flight, what do you think?’ Clever clogs.
Arriving here in Bermuda however has lessened the upset somewhat. It is BEAUTIFUL inside and out. We have already met lovely, kind people and around every twist of the narrow roads or with every glimpse over your shoulder there is a view worthy of a postcard. It is lush, green and peppered with bright flowers like vibrant Hibiscus and feathery ferns. Despite being an isolated place there are over 8,000 varieties of flower and plant – it’s stunning. The beaches are pink and the water crystal, but what makes this place so amazing are the people.
The Bermudians greet everyone they encounter; it makes it feel like home. I was grocery shopping earlier and waiting at the bus stop when a lady stopped her car and asked where I was going, I told her and she opened the passenger door, ‘Jump in! I’ll take you!’ We chatted as she drove and it was like bumping into an old friend rather than being offered help from a stranger. It’s quite magical and a really nice way to live. It’s the first time I’ve been anywhere where people wave back at me. I am a bit of a waver and so this is very welcome!
Oh and I have two lovely new pets, Cyril and Charles, there were three, but Colin met a sticky, crunchy end… Okay – rewind to our adventure last night – our accommodation is rather basic, kind of like Tenko meets Prisoner Cell Block H. I decided to risk the shower, which hasn’t been cleaned in a century and is full of boxes of Christmas Decorations – as you do. I decided to keep my flip-flops on as I didn’t trust the floor and thank god I did.
“Cyril, Charles and Colin were trying to shower with me!”
I switched on the pipe and as the brown, cold water came plopping out and hit the floor, 3 fat cockroaches crawled up the drain hole and scampered around the shower tray! You might have heard me screaming in the UK. I ran out with a tiny towel covering my modesty and shrieked at Simeon that Cyril, Charles and Colin were trying to shower with me! He came in and splatted Colin – the sound of the crunch will haunt me forever. It was HORRIBLE! – But I survived and went back in this morning to prove I wasn’t scared… much. Urgh – shivering just thinking about it, they were HUGE and they can’arf run fast! Urgh – shivering again!
The Major’s new job is going great. He is really enjoying it and like most of Bermuda is getting around on his moped. I told him he looks fab in his new helmet and then I laughed when he’d gone out of the room, bless. He’s calling it the hog, but its still a moped! All those jokes about Biker Mice from Mars are not so funny now! Don’t worry I shall get lots of photos! Everyone here rides mopeds and cars are scarce – the buses are great and cheap and a good way to see everything and as you would expect, I have already made bus friends.
I’ve been to the beach twice and next week I might even take my jeans off and not just roll them up to the knee. I thought about going for a dip today, but was greeted by a bevy of lithe lovelies doing cartwheels along the shoreline – let me tell you it didn’t make me feel any more comfortable about exposing my cellulite and waddling into the waves!
I’ve been busy writing and have a few lovely things in the pipeline – like maybe a new short story on the horizon to follow ‘Something Quite Beautiful’ but of course you didn’t hear it from me! And if you are reading this Head of Zeus – they made me tell!!!
I shall be Skyping the boys this weekend and am bursting at the prospect – I miss them. I miss them beyond words…
Oh – by the way – if anyone is passing Larkhill, I forgot to put the bins out, if you could just pop my wheelie bin in the road and maybe water my tubs, I’d be very grateful and if you look in the window and see huge piles of washing, un-plumped cushions and a collection of dirty football boots in the hall, this wasn’t me, we must have been burgled.
Grab life and run with it!
Mandy x
©Amanda Prowse – all enquiries PFD ajhughes@pfd.co.uk. +44 (0)20 7344 1084
