Phallic Friday - Doms

I just finished a book that had been highly recommended by many people as a book with fantastic BDSM scenes. And you know, I was disappointed.

It had lots of BDSM scenes in it... but they were all 'soft'.

By 'soft', I mean sweet, gentle, kind.

The Dom was so caring, so sweet, so kind... I didn't believe him. I didn't believe her reactions to him, or to the scening.

I guess the author was showing that trust had to be earned through love, even for the smallest things. But it didn't work for me.

And I know I'm weird. I know that most people love this sweetness in a man because my heroes are often 'unsympathetic', 'unlikeable' and I am asked to soften them or tone them down (especially their speech).

But you know, as I read this last night and felt my disappointment and disbelief grow, I wondered if there are other people out there like me, who want a man to be ... harder, tougher, more severe?

Now, in real life, I want something different... but in my BDSM fantasies, I want a bad bad boy who doesn't sit and hug me, stroking my hair and pressing kisses to my head. I want a man who fucks me senseless, then lets me get over it. One who pushes the pain barrier and makes me deal with that. One who doesn't apologise when he's short, or snappy, or rough. One who makes me a stronger person.

I don't want abuse. I don't want a prick. I don't want someone who's rude or ignorant or abrupt or horrid.

I just want a man who is a man and doesn't soften to pander to my emotion.

Do you like the hand holding, hugging Dom? Or are you voting for the tougher man? (And feel free to call me weird... I can handle it!)