Relationship side orders make the entree
I have this awful habit that I chalk up to sheer laziness, but when on those rare occasions that I’m with someone, I give up looking at other chicks altogether…I’m not even tempted…it’s a disgusting trait…I have absolutely no use for them, it’s not even in the vocabulary…Once in a while I’ll test myself, like poring melted wax on my crotch to see if I feel anything… and invariably, it’s like taking prozac: ‘Life is shit but who cares….’
And the worst part of it all is that Chicks can sense the obliviousness. It’s like a heightened sense on some feline super villainess, they try to subliminally tempt you directing their vagina breeze your way…but I’ll have none of it…so I become a cause-celebre at their next meeting…oh yes, Chicks have regular secret meetings to earmark the scofflaws, hard cases and the targets at large that must be trifled with, in order to scare the rest of the male populace into febrile submission…
But when you don’t give a shit, why chug metamucil? My girl goes all wolverine catty with her fingernails, and get so territorial she marks her continent with catpiss and adrenaline…
Once years ago, I went out with a fat chick who gave me performance problems…. so I went to see these Asian personal trainer/semi-pro hooker ( she only charged me) who had this neat trick of giving me a sore throat every time i went down on her….ostensibly just to make sure this performance problem poppycock wasn’t an epidemic - thankfully it wasn’t but aside from that dalliance for purely medical reasons, I remained purer than Sir Lancelot before he started banging King Arthur’s wife…so that’s pretty pure I would imagine as purity goes….
SO there I was facing a block of cheese ass with blinders on…no where to look but head on…I was saddened by the fact that I would never see a skinny, non-pockmarked ass again…well, it was the skinny part that really distressed me ….and she had ogre feet…she could’ve trampled the entire lollipop guild with just one of them…she had to go to Godzilla Nail Happiness ll for a pedicure…it was erection inducing to say the least…
Just to prove a point of the lengths of my mostly fidelities… but alas, my true primitive nature re-surfaced and I realized side orders make the entree…
So why walk the line when you can jump it?
