Ten Questions with… Violet Ivy

After a few weeks of quiet, I’m pleased to present a new day’s edition of Ten Questions with Mia. Today’s guest is a non-fiction author, who is here to talk about her rather intriguing memoir. Please welcome Violet Ivy!

Note to Readers: Given the adult audience these books are intended for, this interview does reference adult topics of a sexual nature. Nothing explicit, but if it doesn’t suit you, you’ve been given advanced notice.

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Author Bio: Violet Ivy grew up on a small wheat and sheep farm in the outback of Western Australia. A spray of freckles across her nose, pigtails streaming down her back as she swam naked in the local creek to cool off during the endless summers.

Who could have predicted her transformation into one of the world’s most elite, international escorts? The wanton woman satisfying the needs and desires of the most affluent men and women of the globe.

Life was not always easy for Violet. Hers is a rags-to-riches story from the seedy brothels of the mining town Kalgoorlie to attending the Kentucky Derby and the Oscars on the arms of the most influential men on the face of the planet.

Violet continues to work in an industry that can either make or break it’s players. She has had to learn how to adapt and hone her expertise to climb to the top of her game. Based in Melbourne, Australia, where sex work is legal, she travels to far flung places, (if the money’s right), as either a courtesan or a fetish Mistress, fulfilling her clients’ needs and desires. Encouragement from friends and family to share her adventures led her to begin a series of books exposing the realities behind the veil of the oldest profession in the world. She introduces her readers to myriad bizarre, scary and hilarious people and situations she comes across in her travels.

Author Site: http://www.violet-ivy.com

You can find her books from the following vendors: Lucky Girl: How I Survived the Sex Industry at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, BookLocker & Book Depository, and Sex and Sexuality – The Interviews at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, BookLockerBook Depository & . (There is a special running presently for the ebook at $2.99)

About the Writer

1. What five words describe you?

Loyal, hardworking, loving, generous, honest.

2. What drew you to start writing?

Some of my closest friends know what I do for a living and they love to hear naughty, funny or bizarre stories about what I get up to behind closed doors. They encouraged me to share my experiences with a wider audience, hence Violet Ivy the author was born.

3. What inspires you?

Relationship wise my parents. They were married for 54 years until my father passed away earlier this year. That’s a lot of hard work, love, compromise and devotion.

With my writing I’d have to say my editor Graham Whittaker. His many years of knowledge and experience and his ongoing generosity in teaching me to be a better writer never cease to amaze me.

Financially would be my upbringing. I grew up poor. I never want to go back to that and I’ll never have to. I’ve earned a lot of money over the years but not wasted it. I have three degrees and a masters and have bought several properties. It’s not what you earn but what you do with it that counts.

4. What distracts you?

Any excuse for a red wine with friends. I’m not difficult to convince. And Facebook. How easy it is to lose an hour or more just catching up with people on that?

5. What’s your favorite story? This can be specific, as in a particular book or even story-driven movie, or general, like “I’m a sucker for a hero looking for redemption story.”

The Young Victoria – a woman barely old enough to wear the crown, finding herself in an institution that wants to push and pull her for everyone else’s benefit. And the beautiful love story with Albert, how, after his early passing, she laid his clothes out every day until she died at 81. That’s love. Not sure about the Prince Albert piercing though. I’ve come across a couple of these and it makes for uncomfortable sex.

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About the Writing

1. Tell us about your currently available titles.

Lucky Girl – How I Survived the Sex Industry

The intimate autobiography of an international call girl. Scary, funny and bizarre stories recorded for your amusement, edification or simply for interesting dinner conversation.

The sex industry is clouded in mystery. It has to be to some extent or it wouldn’t survive. But in this age of internet porn, buying pubic hair trimmings online and wife swapping parties it’s about time the veils of mystery were taken down.

For moralists, let’s visit the chicken and the egg scenario. Which came first the prostitute or the client? If there were no clients then obviously there would be no sex workers. But what if there weren’t any prostitutes? Would guys wank themselves silly to porn? Harass their post-menopausal wives? Frequent bars trying their luck? Or hassle the secretary and risk being charged with sexual harassment? Would statistics for rape be on the increase? Is prostitution a necessary evil in our society? Don’t mindlessly believe and quote information spoon fed to you by friends, family or the media. Make an educated decision.

Although it was never my intention to get into this industry, I’ve travelled the world, had incredible experiences and bought several properties. I won’t have to rely on the government pension when I retire.

My closest friends are co-workers, madams and clients. Brilliant people who I would never otherwise have had the good fortune to meet. I will never regret my decision to enter this field. It has not always been a bed of roses, but when I compare it to what my life might have been; cleaning job, shitty boss, marriage, perhaps divorce, mortgage, kids, living in the burbs, scraping by to give my kids a better life than I was destined for, I feel that I have been rescued…..thank God.

Money doesn’t make you happy? Tell that to someone thrown out of his house because he can’t make the payments or the mother who can’t afford Christmas presents for her kids again this year. I’ve been poor. Money equals choices. Options of how to travel on this journey we call life. Did I make some mistakes? Sure! But there’s not too much I’d change. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Money gives security. Poverty causes ulcers. Financial hardship can also make you compromise yourself in ways that being a sex worker never will.

This industry eats its young and damages those not strong enough to cope. Every worker has a different personality, head space, upbringing, personal history and therefore experience. This book is a glimpse of mine. I am not advocating anyone join the profession. That is a personal choice.

When I started out I could never have imagined what my life journey would look like or where I would be now. I don’t even know where in the world I will be in twelve months. What I will be doing? Who I might be bonking, caning or smearing with hot wax? Exciting isn’t it? Carpe diem – seize the day. I’m a lucky girl.

Sex and Sexuality – The Interviews

Hold onto your hat. This interview book contains some ‘out of the ordinary’ friends I have met in my travels. And I mean way out there. It’s amazing how mainstream these people look when they are on the bus travelling to work. None of them have two heads or gills. And you would never pick their fetishes. It’s only when they choose to reveal them to another that their true nature is exposed. I meet a range of people due to my involvement in the sex industry. There is no way I can be judgmental after some of the kinky stuff I have done and enjoyed. Stones and glass houses. As long as everything is safe, sane and consensual.

When I began this project I had no idea how much fun it would be to investigate sex and sexuality from other viewpoints. It’s been very educational too. Some of these people I already knew and others I sought out for their unique take on different facets of intimacy or simply what gets them off. All the names have been changed of course but their interviews, as bizarre as some of them seem, are one hundred percent real. The interviewees include a sex-change bondage and discipline Mistress, a real life slave, male clients, another high class escort, a brothel madam, a street worker, a man who loves transsexuals and carrots up his arse, a gay guy and a bisexual girl, a paraplegic and a nudist amongst others.

Read about their thoughts, feelings, attitudes and difficulties with regards to expressing their sexuality. Some just want to get laid as often as possible by any means. Others are attempting to find true and lasting happiness. The rest have specific needs that they struggle to meet. You may find a little piece of yourself in each of them.

This book could have been written a hundred times with different people being interviewed. Everyone you pass on the street has their individual preferences and past experiences. There are as many stories as there are humans in the world.

I am indebted to the interviewees as I could not have written these pages without their input. The real message of live and let live comes through the pages of this book. A lot of what is involved in their lives happens behind closed doors. A Mistress does not go into the local pub, in full leathers with a whip, looking for someone to flog. If that is your thing you have to actively seek it out.

Some of these interviews were easy to get. Others required me to search, beg, pay, travel, bribe and use any other means at my disposal to get the interviewee to accept my request. Enjoy reading their perspectives and maybe even learn a thing or two. At the very least you won’t be short of dinner party conversation for a while.

2. What’s your favorite part about writing these books?

The positive feedback from readers. I’ve had so many emails asking for a sequel to Lucky Girl. Of course I have so many more stories to tell that it’s definitely in the works. I’m travelling back to London to work at the fetish establishment shortly and then it will depend where I go in the world after that as to what happens with my life next. I never know what’s around the corner.

3. What do you hope readers gain most from your work?

I was spotted on the street the other day and a guy asked me if I was ‘Lucky Girl’. Not Violet Ivy but I figured it was close enough. If I can become a household name perhaps my message will get through. Although I like the idea that I’m entertaining people it’s also important that I dispel at least some of the ignorant and unpleasant myths that surround the sex industry.

4. What have you gotten out of your writing?

Being a very social person I’ve made life-long friendships with people from all areas of the sex industry; clients, Madams, Mistresses, courtesans, strippers, topless waitresses, pole dancers and slaves. As a writer that circle has grown to include authors and readers of many genres, not just my own. Social media brings new and interesting characters into my life every day too. It’s a shame I didn’t put pen to paper years ago. My books are selling in places I never thought would appreciate a Melbourne girl’s story; South Africa, Canada, Brazil, USA, UK, India. It’s just amazing.

5. Do you have any projects currently in the works you want to talk about?

The next book to be released January 2014 is Cougar.

In this book I interview both to reveal their thoughts on this subject and their lifestyles. What exactly is a Cougar? Or a cub for that matter?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last twenty years you will know what a Cougar is. The short answer is an older woman who is attracted to, and has intimate relations with, much younger men, the cubs. The actual age differences involved are a bit blurred depending on who you speak to.

It’s been said that Cougars ‘prey’ on men young enough to be their sons. I can tell you from personal experience there are times when I wish my outfit came with a large fly swat accessory to keep these cubs at a distance. It seems almost impossible to go out for a drink in a bar without some twenty three year old trying to pick me or one of my friends up.

Is it true that Cougars are not interested in a relationship but simply a sexual conquest? Some Cougars certainly enjoy the fact they are physically appealing to men who are considered to be in the prime of their virility, but it is a case by case scenario. Each Cougar, and cub for that matter, has a different agenda.

Possibly the first and most famous introduction to this phenomenon in modern history was the groundbreaking film The Graduate. It depicts a middle-aged woman, Mrs. Robinson, (Ann Bancroft), who seduces a recent college graduate many years her junior, Benjamin Braddock, (Dustin Hoffman).

Research shows that relationships where the female is older are on the rise. Real-life Cougar relationships include Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry, Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon and Barbara Hershey and Naveen Andrews.

Cougared.com and dateacougar.com are a couple of the many dating sites specifically set up for this type of couple and they claim to have thousands of members.

Certainly different cultures vary on their views of relationships with age disparities. How seriously these couples are taken, how much of an age difference is acceptable, ethics and laws. Age of consent for example. In our culture a wealthy guy in his sixties can easily attract a girl in her twenties. The mature guy is considered enviable, rich and powerful. The younger woman a gold digger. A mature woman in the same scenario is just seen as a sad, aged cradle-snatcher. Trying to recapture her youth and so forth. The younger man is rarely condemned. Does it seem to anyone else that it’s the female who is judged negatively in both of these situations?

Armed with my Dictaphone I recorded these interviews. Read, enjoy, be educated, shocked, surprised. These are real life people who not only do not see anything wrong with the age difference but actively seek it out. And not one of them seemed unhappy about their preferences.

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Thanks for visiting us today, Violet, and good luck with your books!