Characterization and Dialogue Basics

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Characterization is the collection of techniques a writer uses to reveal the personality and conflicts of characters to the reader. It involves words, thoughts, appearances and actions in complex ways. In today's modern novels dialogue is critically important. Many successful mainstream and genre novels have an increasing amount of dialogue over narration, forcing dialogue sequences to do all the work of revealing important information about characters.

Dialogue may look like conversation between characters, but it is not. In fiction there is no such thing as casual conversation between characters. Everything they say should reveal character traits or story secrets, or build tension. Dialogue should not try to copy actual conversation, but rather distill it into only the most essential elements needed for the reader's entertainment. In short, it should do some work. Using dialogue instead of narration makes it easier for readers to understand what's going on. We humans are primed to understand spoken interaction. Written explanations take longer for us to process and don't include the hints of tone of voice, or the subtleties of attitude and purpose that we can grasp from someone's spoken words.

But before we writers can make dialogue do all that work, we have to understand what it's made of.

Anatomy of dialogue

Dialogue consists of two essential elements, words and utterances in quotation marks which are the actual words or sounds spoken by the character, and punctuation.

"You're not going to college so your mama's friends don't have to use the same bathroom as the maid."

-The Help, Kathryn Stockett

Dialogue may also have a few optional elements, such as dialogue speech tags, action tags, descriptive tags, and additional punctuation that is not in quotes. In addition, dialogue may be surrounded by and embedded in prose, and could have additional punctuation or italicization to indicate emphasis.

"Nothing," I said. "They weren't there to be seen. That's my point. We should have seen certain things, but we didn't. Because certain things were missing."

The Affair, Lee Child.

"Yessuh," I say, feeling my dread erase any relief I had coming to me today.

-The Help, Kathryn Stockett

Grammatical Details for Dialogue

Use punctuation to separate what is said with the tag line that shows who said it.

"I can't find my diary," said Josephine.

The teacher said, "Everyone take out his homework."

Spoken questions keep their question marks, as do sentences with exclamation marks.

"Does anyone have an aspirin?" asked Suzette.

"Don't you dare speak to me that way!" shouted Karenna.

Irritated with the wait, he demanded, "Can't you call ahead next time?"

From the base of the stairs Jocasta hollered, "Mom, the contractor is here!"

For tags that break up two complete sentences, attach the tag to one or the other.

"It's heartless to string him along that way," he said. "You should tell him it's over."

"I hate this weather." Penelope whispered, "I want the sun to come out."

For tags that break up a single sentence, set the tag off with commas.

"When you get to the station," said Herschel in a low tone, "take the last outbound train on track ten."

For two pieces of speech separated by a sentence with action or description, use regular sentence punctuation.

"Hang on, Donna. The cat needs to go outside." Alberto put down the phone. "I'm coming, Frisky, you rascal. Stop scratching at the door."

For a complete (and funny) outline of using punctuation with quotes, try this source:
http://www.writingfix.com/PDFs/Writing_Tools/Tom_Swiftie_Dialogue_rules.pdf

Other Notes on Dialogue Grammar

Use an emdash (–) when a character's speech is suddenly interrupted or cut off.

Example: "Wait, my legs or my ank–" -The Help, Kathryn Stockett

Use an ellipsis (...) when a character's speech is temporarily interrupted, paused, or fades away. Example:

"You're...different. I've never met anybody that said exactly what they were thinking. Not a woman, anyway." -The Help, Kathryn Stockett

"Constantine..." I cry. I wish I'd known.

-The Help, Kathryn Stockett

Begin a new paragraph each time there is a new speaker.

"Hop on my bike and I'll take you down to the store," said Peter.

"Thanks, but I think I'll walk," said Jill.

Put the action of the speaker in the same paragraph as his/her speech.

"Come on," he said, showing her the comfortable seat of his new motorcycle. "I promise not to drive too fast." He straddled the bike and offered her the spare helmet.

For long speeches with multiple paragraphs, do not use a closing quote at the end of the paragraph, but do use a begin quote at the beginning of the new paragraph. This is pretty rare, but if you've got a character who makes long speeches it's worth knowing.

"For once in my life I'd like to be allowed to make my own decisions. Is that too much to ask? How many times have you told me I need to grow up and fend for myself, huh? Millions, right? And every time I stretch out just a bit. Every time I reach for something that's a little beyond the comforts of home, you slap me back down to Earth, telling me exactly how to do this and when to do that. You give me no room to grow. No room to make mistakes.

"Does that make sense? It doesn't really make sense. It's contradictory, in fact. Well, I've had it. I'm fed up. I'm outta here." Jennie slammed the door behind her dumbfounded parents and tromped down the front steps and out into the real world.

For a quote within a quote, use a single quote within a double quote. Example:

"No, you didn't say that at all. You said 'one month from today' which was exactly thirty days ago."

Note: In the US, Canada and Australia/NZ double quotes are used for most dialogue with single quotes for emphasis or embedded quotes. In the UK, it can be the reverse, depending on the publisher.

Exercise: Evaluate the following two dialogue pieces. What do you like about each one? What frustrates or annoys you? Note: there's no right or wrong here. This exercise is designed to help you become aware of your preferences in reading dialogue because your writing preferences most likely follow your reading preferences. I've commented on the first one so you can get a sense of how to respond.

Dialogue #1:

"What's going on, Cat?" Chase bellowed. "Have the townies gotten so fat they need two horses to carry each of them?"

"Hush, I don't want any trouble," she said, with a pointed glance at his writhing bag. "I'll stable Salty at the Watering Hole."

"Strom may let you stable him there, but certainly not for free. Where does it stop, Cat? How much abuse do they think we'll tolerate?" he asked, sounding more incensed with each word.

"I don't have time for this now. I'll see you at the lesson," she said, turning Salty.

-Call of the Herald, Brian Rathbone

(Kat's comments: I like the tension between the characters. I like the "townies" and the little jibe that make the Chase character feel familiar, like guys I know who would talk this way. So many names all at once is confusing: Cat, Chase, Salty, Strom. In this short sequence I had trouble keeping them straight.) Okay, now your turn. What do you think about this one and the next one?

Dialogue #2:

"You're awfully quiet," Matt said.

"Did I mention that I don't have a good feeling about this?"

"Uh, huh." Matt tightened his collar against the autumn chill and worked a piece of gum with his jaw. "That's your theme song."

"Really? Don't you ever get a bad feeling about a call?"

"All the time."

"How come you never tell me?"

"I'm going to feed the flames of paranoia?"

- A Touch of Deceit, Gary Ponzo