Amandababble Week Fifteen
Well hey, my last blog from the UK for a while as this week I leave for Bermuda! My to-do list is so long that its kind of paralysed me and I have done nothing to prepare. I figure things will all kind of happen anyway and I shall jog along with it. (Don’t mention the Tupperware, I think he’s forgotten!)
We took the boys on mini trips to Bournemouth and then Woolacombe earlier in the week. It was just fabulous. Whole days spent with the kids, playing cards in grotty cafes, eating chips on the sea wall and running onto the beach when the sun poked from behind the cloud. The busy beach was the perfect place to indulge in my favourite hobby of people watching and I have been staggered by some of the parenting that I have witnessed.
My three favourites were the very shouty dad, who screamed for hours at his four year old son that if he didn’t stop digging and spraying f*cking sand (YES! On the beach! Imagine!) then he would be ‘sent back to the f*cking caravan on his own!’ The family then started to pack up and shouty dad changed his threat to, ‘if you don’t stop digging sand, we will leave you here on your own while we go back to the caravan!’ The little boy looked rather confused and couldn’t fathom whether he was being left behind or sent away, both prospects sounded quite scary.
My second favourite was the dad who yanked his little boy roughly by the arm and asked very loudly, ‘why do you think its okay to lick sweets you find on the floor, Jake? Do you want to eat dog wee and poo?’ Jake considered this and responded with ‘I don’t want to eat dog wee and poo but I DO like sweeties.’ To which his dad replied in the only possible way to this five year old, ‘you are a f*cking moron, Jake!’ The guy swore and called him a Moron! He was five! 
But the good dad award of the day went to the chap who said to his son with his finger an inch from the child’s face, ‘if you ask for an ice cream, I shall knock you to the other side of the beach!’ I didn’t hear the child say another word and understandably so, if asking for an ice cream got that reaction, can you imagine what might have happened if he’d needed the loo or wanted a paddle in the sea? Probably a firing squad.
I actually cried, I sat on the beach and cried.
Now, I am far far far from the perfect parent, as my sons will testify. I have been known to lose my rag, swear a bit, forget to buy food for the harvest festival, meaning that my boy had to take in a bottle of wine and some sausage casserole mix. I have sent them to school in pants and vests that were nearly dry. I’ve forgotten PE kit and missed parents evening. On one occasion, I got in a muddle and collected them an hour late. BUT I have never, ever made them feel small or not given them my time or been able to think of a trillion games with which to occupy their time wherever we were, beach or home. I have never manhandled them or hit them and I have always loved their company. In my opinion there is nothing as funny as something funny that your child says and this is still the case with my beer monsters who are over six foot and shaving!
I saw so many mums and dads being impatient or indifferent and I found it heartbreaking. I wanted to scream that they were on holiday, making precious memories! I thought of my own childhood beach holidays, where my large, skint family would eat sandwiches bought from home and swig from bottles of Panda Pop before burying my grandad in the sand. We’d sit in the car at the end of the day with wet, sandy bums playing I-spy and Twenty Questions until we fell asleep and were lifted from the car by my dad who would plonk us straight into bed. Him carrying me up the stairs was one of the best parts of the whole day and even if I was awake, I’d scrunch my eyes up tight and pretend, just so he would hurl me over his shoulder and wrap me in my duvet.
My last ITV This Morning summer read came out this week here’s the link for those who missed it. http://itv.co/19YlLb6 can I just say a big thank you for all the lovely responses that I have had to my little collection of short stories over the summer and a big thank you to the team at ITV for being so great to work with. For all of those who are asking for more, all I can say is, watch this space…
It’ll be weird writing from Bermuda, who knows how it will shape my blog and my words. I am going to embrace it and get everything out of it that I can, but my heart will be here with you and everyone I love. At the end of the day, no matter how fancy pants the place or how dazzling the view, I’m the kind of girl that likes to play cards in grotty cafes and eat chips on the sea wall.
Go scatter kindness.
With love
Mandy x
©Amanda Prowse – all enquiries PFD ajhughes@pfd.co.uk. +44 (0)20 7344 1084
