Musings and Daily Affirmations
Today is going to be one of those random, self confessional posts where I discuss the thoughts I have that got me into community college and kept me out of any accredited university.
Musing
So, I have a license to carry but I’m bored with guns. I mean a Floridian carrying around a gun? It’s such a fucking cliché. My question is this; does my license to carry cover me if I want to carry around a sword instead? Nothing flashy, just your standard 30 inch katana embedded with emeralds. I mean honestly, I hear about people getting harassed when they were carrying a gun all the time. But I have never heard of anyone getting fucked with while they were carrying a sword in WalMart.
Daily Affirmation
You take a calculated risk whenever you release a mongoose.
Musing
About men and facial hair arrangements, why do men only play with the hair below their eye line? Mustaches, beards, mutton chops, I’ve seen them all together and I’ve seen a variation of all three separately. What I’ve never seen is a man purposely cultivate a uni-brow. Maybe it’s because uni-brows look stupid? But so do mutton chops, and guys still wear those. I have always believed that beauty is in the eyebrow of the beholder.
Daily Affirmation
You’re always alone, but you’re only lonely if you don’t like the person you’re alone with…or if you’re ugly or really fat.
Musing
People who think George Carlin was overrated are the same people who find Gallagher hilarious. I think that should tell us all a little about how much to value their opinions. George Carlin used humor as a way to make social commentary about the depressing truths of the human condition. Gallagher uses a hammer to squish watermelons. Enough said.
Daily Affirmation
Today is a sacred gift from life…but tomorrow you could get run over by a bus. Live fearlessly. Steal often.
Musing
Why do men go on the no strings attached section of Craigslist and post completely unrealistic demands? Seriously, today I went on there and saw 10 demands for virgins and another four looking to have sex with lesbians. Hey guys, I have a riddle for you; what do lesbians and virgins have in common?
Answer; neither goes on Craigslist trolling for cock.
If the girl is a 22 year old virgin, chances are she’s hideous or she’s waiting to meet someone nice in her church group (or cult). As for the lesbians, I went down to the dog park and took a survey today. I asked one question. “What is your biggest turn off in your potential partner?” 10 out of 10 lesbians answered ‘a penis’.
Daily Affirmation
Think positively…unless you’re taking an aids test. Then negative is your friend.
Musing
Why was everyone comparing Obama to MLK yesterday? The only thing these two dudes have in common is the color of their skin. Martin Luther King Jr. was an amazingly skilled orator and civil rights leader who had the ability to get thousands of people to follow him and flock to his cause. For example, the Montgomery Bus boycott. Rosa Parks worked as a secretary for King and was the catalyst for that movement. The boycott crippled the Montgomery economy and led to a United States Supreme Court decision that declared the Alabama and Montgomery laws requiring segregated buses to be unconstitutional. That case law helped to end segregation entirely.
Obama can’t even get poor white people to accept free health care.
MLK might have paved the way for Obama, but they are nothing alike. MLK was a visionary. Obama is a sub par leader who is absolutely the same as every single leader before him.
But that won’t stop me from looking up shirtless pictures of him on the internet.
Daily Affirmation
The shortest distance between two things is a straight line. The most interesting distance between two things is usually a lot curvier.
