Miley Cyrus and slut shaming...

I’ve read a lot of the articles about slut shaming and my feminist heart swells with outrage when I see girls being treated unfairly by the media and people at large. When it happens I have to acknowledge that yes, society’s long held prejudices are still there. That we live in a society where a sexual girl is a slut and a sexual boy is a player. Where a girl makes “the walk of shame” and a guy has earned a “notch in his bedpost” – (which really… so silly that.)
In my new favorite movie Pitch Perfect there is the wonderful moment where the leader of the Bellas asks one of the recruits to leave because she had sex with the enemy. As she’s walking out the door, head low, Fat Amy coughs into her hand… “Slut”. And clearly it’s the writer’s way of shining that light on all of us in a humorous way.  A wink to women everywhere that says we know we’re not really sluts and how ridiculous this shame we’re being forced to feel is.
Then comes along the VMA’s and Miley Cyrus’s performance. After all the kerfuffle of course I had to go watch and see for myself. Was this another case of “slut” shaming? Was she being persecuted for being sexual? My answer… I don’t think so. I think it was over the top. I’m not blaming her completely. I absolutely think someone should have stopped it in rehearsal. Or told her to tone it down. While provocative is the word of choice at these music award shows, there was something just “icky” about what she was doing on that stage.
I wasn’t watching a woman own her sexuality. I was watching a woman degrading herself by making us believe the only talent she had was wrapped up in her sexuality.
I know people will point to the lyrics of Robin Thicke’s song and cry double standard. But that’s my point. I’ve never seen a man have to go out on that stage and do what Miley did to try and entertain. At least not outside of the movie Magic Mike. Robin Thicke didn’t have to walk out in a beige thong and stroke himself then bend over. He got to go out there fully dressed and just sing.
I wasn’t outraged by Miley’s routine. I wasn’t disgusted by her lewd behavior. I’m not calling her a slut.
I’m sad for her.
I’m sad that a twenty year old girl with a lot of talent is made to feel that she has to go out there and do that to attract attention. I’m sad that she sees herself not as an artist, but as a body that needs to be on display. I’m sad that whoever produced and directed that show watched that routine and said it was okay for her to do that. I’m sad that Robin Thicke thought it was okay to allow her to shake her butt in his crotch for the purpose of entertainment.
I remember watching Pink perform in a mesh costume that gave the appearance of nudity. She was proud and beautiful and delivered one of the most stunning live performances I’ve ever seen. That’s owning your sexuality. That’s putting your talent first. That’s showcasing who you are as a woman.
No, I’m not saying “Shame on you, Miley.” Instead I want to hug her and tell her that’s she more than that. I hope she believes in her heart that she’s more than that.
How about we let the really talented girls go out there and just sing. How about that?