Now That You’re a Parent
Nothing truly belongs to you
When you step in something gooey or sticky, it’s not shocking
Your standard of what clean looks like changes dramatically
Clean clothes means there’s no vomit
You can function on 2-4 hours of sleep a night for a while, but after a month or so, you start hallucinating
Rather than judge a parent in a supermarket with a screaming child, you pat them on the back and give them a sympathetic smile
Other things matter less
You’ve got every corner cover, electric socket cover, cupboard safety latch, gate and gadget to keep your child safe, but they’ll always find something dangerous to play with
You relax about what really IS dangerous
Gross loses meaning
You plan to NEVER use a pacifier, walker, or T.V to make them happy
You stop judging other parents so much
And … of course, though your life is messier and smellier, it’s also richer, funnier, and a whole lot of love heart-filled awesomeness and unicorn farts
Charlie’s 1st Birthday
When you step in something gooey or sticky, it’s not shocking
Your standard of what clean looks like changes dramatically
Clean clothes means there’s no vomit
You can function on 2-4 hours of sleep a night for a while, but after a month or so, you start hallucinating
Rather than judge a parent in a supermarket with a screaming child, you pat them on the back and give them a sympathetic smile
Other things matter less
You’ve got every corner cover, electric socket cover, cupboard safety latch, gate and gadget to keep your child safe, but they’ll always find something dangerous to play with
You relax about what really IS dangerous
Gross loses meaning
You plan to NEVER use a pacifier, walker, or T.V to make them happy
Hahahahahahahahaha
You stop judging other parents so much
And … of course, though your life is messier and smellier, it’s also richer, funnier, and a whole lot of love heart-filled awesomeness and unicorn farts
PEACE
HMC
Visit HMC’s official site HERE
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