A simple thing you can do to fight discrimination against women-- MANifesto.
Like most people in this country, I am horrified, appalled and deeply disturbed by yet another incident of gang-rape, this time in Mumbai. I had raised my voice when it had happened the last time. You can read the post here.
And now I am compelled to write yet another post.
The fact is Indian culture is deeply tinged with misogyny--whether we accept it or not. Years and years of social conditioning has ensured a bias towards sons, whether we acknowledge it or not. Women in India have to be really scared today, to even step out after 5.30 pm, and sometimes even in broad day-light.
When I first moved to the UK to live, I was amazed at the sense of pure freedom I felt, as a woman. It was something completely different from what I was used to,in India. It was in UK, that I first felt *respected* as a woman. Nobody saw me as anyone's wife or mother or daughter. I had my own identity there--I was Preeti and that was it. I can't tell you how liberating that felt. Unless you have lived in India for most of your adult life as a woman, and then moved to a country like UK, or the U.S , you would probably not get the full impact of what an amazing difference that makes, in the quality of life one leads and how much it empowers you to make the choices that you do.
When I moved back to India, after living there, I felt nauseatingly stifled in the first few months. I had to watch what I was wearing, I had to take in account what time I was going, where and most importantly with whom. Mostly, I just felt unsafe. All because I was a woman, living in India. I hated it, but like millions of women in India, I 'adjusted' to the situation and learnt how to manage.
The fact is, this gender-bias is something which is so deeply embedded in Indians, that many a time we don't even realise that we are guilty of the same. I have many Indian men (really good human beings) as my good friends and yet in one way or the other, they would be somewhat guilty at one point or other, to have made a sexist remark or to have simply discriminated against women, without even being aware of it. I tend to forgive and not make an issue, as basically they are good guys who won't even dream of raping a woman, disrespecting her in any way. And yet, they are unaware about how they might be contributing to women being treated as second rate citizens, less than a man.
I can cite many examples.
If you are a man who expects that your wife makes that morning cup of coffee for you, and serve it to you, (more so because she is a housewife, and she does it 'willingly' and 'She really does not mind') I urge you to think if you are discriminating.
If you are a man who has made a remark like 'fat cow' after looking at a woman's photograph, you are discriminating.
If you are a guy who thinks that the air-hostesses in Air-India are 'aunties' and 'I would want young females to serve me' you are discriminating.
If you are a man who thinks about 'saving for my daughter's marriage', you are definitely discriminating.
The common Hindi swear word 'Bho***i' and 'Beh*****d' and 'M*******d' have become so much a part of daily speech. I am told that if you live in Delhi, UP or other northern parts of India, this just becomes a part of your vocabulary, so much so that you become desensitised to using these. You may argue that using words like these immediately does not catapult the man to a rapist or a potential rapist category. But that is not the point.
The point here is creating *awareness* about how even our daily acts can make a difference. This morning I came across a Manifesto through Peter Griffin (@ zigzackly on twitter ) and it struck a deep chord in me.
It asks 'What simple steps can you take as a man, to fight discrimination against women'?
Many men have submitted their pledges, and I urge all the men (particularly Indian men) who read this post to do so and to share it on your social media pages.
You can submit them in this link. (and it can be anonymous)
http://realmanifesto.tumblr.com/submit
Among the many pledges submitted, the following ones made me want to applaud (do read them) :
http://realmanifesto.tumblr.com/post/59205559464/i-will-not-tell-the-adult-women-in-my-life-what-to
and this which many Indian men are guilty of, and in fact think it is 'noble'
http://realmanifesto.tumblr.com/post/59205700557/i-will-remember-all-women-arent-my-sisters
and also this one:
http://realmanifesto.tumblr.com/post/59205682212/i-will-not-promise-not-to-swear-but-i-will
If you are an Indian male, I urge you to think about this and make a pledge today.
To make that tiny difference in a woman's life.
You would have contributed in a small way---made a difference.
And these little steps go a long way.
Do it..and come back here and leave me a comment saying you have done so.
I shall applaud you for it.
So will millions of Indian women.
_________________________________________________________________
http://preetishenoy.com/
And now I am compelled to write yet another post.
The fact is Indian culture is deeply tinged with misogyny--whether we accept it or not. Years and years of social conditioning has ensured a bias towards sons, whether we acknowledge it or not. Women in India have to be really scared today, to even step out after 5.30 pm, and sometimes even in broad day-light.
When I first moved to the UK to live, I was amazed at the sense of pure freedom I felt, as a woman. It was something completely different from what I was used to,in India. It was in UK, that I first felt *respected* as a woman. Nobody saw me as anyone's wife or mother or daughter. I had my own identity there--I was Preeti and that was it. I can't tell you how liberating that felt. Unless you have lived in India for most of your adult life as a woman, and then moved to a country like UK, or the U.S , you would probably not get the full impact of what an amazing difference that makes, in the quality of life one leads and how much it empowers you to make the choices that you do.
When I moved back to India, after living there, I felt nauseatingly stifled in the first few months. I had to watch what I was wearing, I had to take in account what time I was going, where and most importantly with whom. Mostly, I just felt unsafe. All because I was a woman, living in India. I hated it, but like millions of women in India, I 'adjusted' to the situation and learnt how to manage.
The fact is, this gender-bias is something which is so deeply embedded in Indians, that many a time we don't even realise that we are guilty of the same. I have many Indian men (really good human beings) as my good friends and yet in one way or the other, they would be somewhat guilty at one point or other, to have made a sexist remark or to have simply discriminated against women, without even being aware of it. I tend to forgive and not make an issue, as basically they are good guys who won't even dream of raping a woman, disrespecting her in any way. And yet, they are unaware about how they might be contributing to women being treated as second rate citizens, less than a man.
I can cite many examples.
If you are a man who expects that your wife makes that morning cup of coffee for you, and serve it to you, (more so because she is a housewife, and she does it 'willingly' and 'She really does not mind') I urge you to think if you are discriminating.
If you are a man who has made a remark like 'fat cow' after looking at a woman's photograph, you are discriminating.
If you are a guy who thinks that the air-hostesses in Air-India are 'aunties' and 'I would want young females to serve me' you are discriminating.
If you are a man who thinks about 'saving for my daughter's marriage', you are definitely discriminating.
The common Hindi swear word 'Bho***i' and 'Beh*****d' and 'M*******d' have become so much a part of daily speech. I am told that if you live in Delhi, UP or other northern parts of India, this just becomes a part of your vocabulary, so much so that you become desensitised to using these. You may argue that using words like these immediately does not catapult the man to a rapist or a potential rapist category. But that is not the point.
The point here is creating *awareness* about how even our daily acts can make a difference. This morning I came across a Manifesto through Peter Griffin (@ zigzackly on twitter ) and it struck a deep chord in me.
It asks 'What simple steps can you take as a man, to fight discrimination against women'?
Many men have submitted their pledges, and I urge all the men (particularly Indian men) who read this post to do so and to share it on your social media pages.
You can submit them in this link. (and it can be anonymous)
http://realmanifesto.tumblr.com/submit
Among the many pledges submitted, the following ones made me want to applaud (do read them) :
http://realmanifesto.tumblr.com/post/59205559464/i-will-not-tell-the-adult-women-in-my-life-what-to
and this which many Indian men are guilty of, and in fact think it is 'noble'
http://realmanifesto.tumblr.com/post/59205700557/i-will-remember-all-women-arent-my-sisters
and also this one:
http://realmanifesto.tumblr.com/post/59205682212/i-will-not-promise-not-to-swear-but-i-will
If you are an Indian male, I urge you to think about this and make a pledge today.
To make that tiny difference in a woman's life.
You would have contributed in a small way---made a difference.
And these little steps go a long way.
Do it..and come back here and leave me a comment saying you have done so.
I shall applaud you for it.
So will millions of Indian women.
_________________________________________________________________
http://preetishenoy.com/
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