The Adventures of Fred & George
Guys, for what I am about to do, I am sorry. I couldn’t help myself. I got this parcel in the mail, and…well, you’ll see.
Readers, meet Fred and George, the Australian WonderTwin SquirrelShakers.
Choco! From a certain Australian fan! How marvelous!
There was some movement inside, though.
Wait.
Wait just a second.
What the hell…?
“GEORGE! WAKE UP!”
“GOD, WHAT A NIGHT. DID YOU GET HER NUMBER?”
“WAKE UP! WE’VE BEEN SHIPPED!”
“WHAT?”
“WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE?”
“DON’T ASK ME, MATE, LAST THING I REMEMBER IS THAT MARSUPIAL FROM CANBERRA AND HER LOVELY GAMS.”
“I CAN’T TAKE YOU ANYWHERE.”
“THIS DOESN’T SEEM SO BAD.”
“YOU’RE ALWAYS AN OPTIMIST, FRED.”
“IT’S MY SUNNY DISPOSITION.”
“I CANNA JUMP THE DISTANCE. YOU’LL HAVE TO TOSS ME.”
“I SHOULD NEVER HAVE LET YOU WATCH THOSE MOVIES.”
“C…O…F…F…I WONDER IF WE CAN EAT THIS?”
“PROBABLY. BUT LET’S NOT, GEORGE. COME ON.”
“BUT I’M HUNGRY, MATE!”
“I THOUGHT YOU WERE HUNGOVER.”
“I AM! AND HUNGRY!”
“COME ON.”
“HELP ME PUSH THIS.”
“WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
“IF WE PUSH THIS OFF WE’LL EAT LIKE KINGS.”
“FOR GOD’S SAKE DON’T BE STUPID. LET’S LOOK AROUND FIRST.”
“FOR WHAT? MORE FOOD? THERE’S FOOD RIGHT HERE.”
“SHUT UP, GEORGE. COME ON.”
“THIS MIGHT TURN OUT ALL RIGHT. SEEMS QUIET.”
“FUCK QUIET. I NEED A NOSH.”
“WE’LL EXPLORE A LITTLE BIT MORE, THEN GET YOU YOUR BLASTED NOSH. COME ON.”
“I DUNNO, FRED. I FEEL A LITTLE…EXPOSED.”
“PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN’T TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF.”
“I DON’T WEAR PANTS.”
“FOR FUCK’S SAKE, GEORGE–WAIT. WAIT JUST A SECOND. DO YOU HEAR THAT?”
“HEAR WHAT? I’M HUNGRY, FRED.”
“SHHH. GEORGE…I THINK WE’RE NOT ALONE.”
…to be continued
