The Faces I’ve Been on the Road Less Travelled

But in lookin’ back at the faces I’ve been – I would sure be the first one to say – When I look at myself today – Wouldn’t've done it any other way  ~ The Hard Way Every Time – Jim Croce, American Singer-Songwriter, 1943 – 1973

Hmmm, could it be that Croce was stating a universal truth in this simple folk song?

As a child, we live very much in the moment. What we are doing right now is the most important thing. It’s a luxury we have because we haven’t yet had to assume the mantle of responsibility. Or to put in another way, our responsibility is simply to enjoy life as it happens.

As a young adult, we still possess the ability to live in the moment. But we begin to spend time looking ahead and anticipating what is coming. Today is a good place to be but we’re convinced that tomorrow, next month and next year is going to be even better. Our responsibility shifts from living in the moment to laying the ground work for what our life will be all about.

Somewhere along the way – at different ages for different people but generally in the middle years – we experience the conviction that we have arrived. We’ve acquired relationships, possessions and a healthy dose of the responsibility that comes with these things.

At this stage, we feel like we should be perfectly content. Our expectations, not to mention societal values, have led us to believe that we should be at the this-is-as-good-as-it-gets point in our lives. If we’re among the fortunate ones, this is arguably true.

And yet, in the quiet moments, we yearn for those earlier years of sweet anticipation and chafe a bit against the burden of responsibility we’ve taken on. We wonder if we have surrendered a bit of our dreams and given in to society’s convention of what a successful person’s life should look like. Maybe, just maybe, there was something even better out there that we could have found if we’ve made a few different¸decisions.

At this point, there is a divergence. Some of us resolve the inner conflict and find true contentment. We reach the conviction that whatever else is out there isn’t worth the price we would have to pay to acquire it. The life we have is the life we want. The weight of responsibility, and the joy our life brings us, is in equilibrium.

But for some of us, for reasons partly of our own making and partly of forces over which we have no control, the pieces don’t quite fit together in the middle years. We struggle to hold it all together but ultimately realize that we can’t. The life we have has missed the mark. The price of staying put is too high. We have to admit to what seems like failure and resign ourselves to starting over.

But the news is not all bad. Time heals the wounds and brings us a deeper understanding. We arrive, slowly and with some resistance, at the conviction that we were meant for a life less conventional. Our responsibility has a different hue than the majority.

And, as Croce tells us, when we look at ourselves today, we realize that we wouldn’t – and couldn’t – have done it any other way. We adopt the metaphor of life as a road. We’re destined to walk a less travelled one. Exactly where that road will lead us isn’t clear. But we evolve the ability to accept that uncertainty. It may be the hard way but it is our way.

~ Michael Robert Dyet is the author of “Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel” – double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog .

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