somebody should write a book called 'T-Bone Deadly: ...

somebody should write a book called 'T-Bone Deadly:  Laser Cop'

also, something to do when you're in the passenger side of a car and the driver parks your side close to something and asks, "can you get out" is to look at him/her with no expression, glancing from mouth to eyes a few times, then say, "there's never a way out."