What My Kindergartener Taught Me About Joy

 My youngest child started Kindergarten two days ago. I spent the last five years preparing for this day, listening to moms in the throes of the terrible twos boast about how they couldn’t wait for their children to start school so they could get on with their lives. And then I would bump into someone a little farther down the road than me, her voice cracking, eyes brimming with tears, who would pat my shoulder and quietly say,  “The days are long, but the years are short.” In the midst of this soulful tug-of-war I found myself dreading Monday, August 5th. On the one hand, new vistas tempted me from the horizon but on another level I felt sad that these last five years had passed in the blink of an eye. And in the midst of that, in my utter selfishness, I actually thought, “And what does this mean for me?”

It means I’m old.

It means I’m not a young mom with young kids, getting a free pass on figuring things out. It means that all my kids are “school-age.” I’ve been inducted into a new club, and I didn’t even know I wanted to be a member. Our badges are our minivans, our PTA committees, and the alarm clocks that signal the start of a new day of activities, and our children define us.

So what does JOY look like? How do you describe it?

In this new season, I’m working hard to harness the joy. In Kindergarten, my little girl will meet her first teacher, make new friends, ride the school bus, and learn to read, share, and find her own way. I look at her bright eyes, and you know, all I see is joy.

Joy looks like a five year-old girl on her first day of Kindergarten.

My own definition looks like this: Joy is the ability to be content with who you are where you are.

It’s two-fold, and it’s not easy for a woman my age.

It’s not about happiness; it’s not just about understanding that God is working through us to accomplish his will in the world.

My life is not defined by my children or my circumstances, although both have helped shape the person I am, the woman I am becoming. Wherever I am, whether I’m building my family or releasing my little ones to the world, whether things work out as I thought they would or I am surprised by God’s perfect plan for my life, I can choose to be content with who I am and where I am at this moment.

For this moment, God made me…to experience joy.

Will you join me today in discovering what today holds? No regrets and no wishful thinking. Like a Kindergartener on her first day of school, with a new backpack filled with things like crayons and sharpened pencils and a snack in a baggie, I want to experience joy. She gets on the bus and she doesn’t look back. She has no concept of what the future holds. But she’s ready. She’s five, and it’s recess. She’ll run and slide and swing and hold hands with her friends. Tonight, she’ll go to bed early. I’ll listen to her tiny voice thank God for her teacher, for her desk.. for me.

She’s five, and she just reminded me to choose joy.

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