Mother Gaia issues tearful plea to Al and Tipper Gore: 'I can't afford the cost of your divorce!'

Divorce is killing our planet. So claimed a 2007 study by Michigan State University which estimated that divorced couples around the world use 38 million more rooms than they would have done had they stayed together, as well as using 73 billion kilowatt-hours more of electricity and 627 billion gallons of water.

And that's just if they're normal people. Imagine how much more disastrous it would be, if they were as profligate as almost-billionaire carbon trader and creator of the ManBearPig...